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In Steps Of Ancestral Explorers
larrylark

Among distant Andean mountains,
 1
lamp oil seeps beneath ground sheets
 2
shadowed by walls of bone dry canvas.
 3
Hemp rope shreds,
 4
wind vibrates against pole and peg,
 5
singing among snow squalls
 6
that gauge its low moan.
 7
 
 
Farther away,up tracks,leather boot shorn,
 8
rests against a weather proof.
 9
Still protruding hand claws at air
 10
placing one fingertip against a final peak
 11
as if seeking some calculation or measure.
 12
Distances glaze white,
 13
disappearing into dizzy heights
 14
below a circling condor who glides and swoops,
 15
wing tips brushing sides of fathomless ravines.
 16

30 Aug 05

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Comments:

beautifully done larrylark, you have a gift for imagery.
 — lonelygirl

Dear Lonely girl

And you have a gift for making this old poet very happy.
 — larrylark

i like making other people happy. making you happy made me happy :-)
 — lonelygirl

mixing of tenses may be restrained, but romantic imagery and a title too good to pass up

then again, the Andes deserve as many verbs as possible, don't they?

Shelleyan - as if from oh, whatsit!   it's on the tip of my head - where the poet-hero goes up, down, around, and all a-swirl

good
 — cynthmala

Awesome first stanza. Perhaps right-brained versus the second that loses the enchantment and is sort of not detailed enough-too logical, cliche. What is something about the condor you could realize that is highly poetic and illuminates its Andean life and connections better? I know it's hard to stop when the momentum seems to suddenly evade and disperse...
(If she's of the good folk, hi Monica! May God bless you!)
 — C

Maybe it just needs a third? A trinity of details, enchantment and experientially beautiful, contemplative sharing?
 — C

Fear Cynthmala

I think you may well be right about the 2nd stanza but some things are hard to change once written out. Thanks for your perceptive comments.

Larry ice pick Lark
 — unknown

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

thank you

Candice
 — unknown

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