| Solstice
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bohemian
| i have been counting | 1 |
seconds, | 2 |
minutes, | 3 |
hours | 4 |
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to let the | 5 |
sun embrace | 6 |
my tears. | 7 |
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now, alone in | 8 |
my room, | 9 |
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(while watching | 10 |
the basin | 11 |
catch raindrops | 12 |
from the ceiling) | 13 |
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i wait for the | 14 |
rhythm to | 15 |
unshackle my feet. | 16 |
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i want to dance | 17 |
(in darkness) | 18 |
as the summer | 19 |
solstice is claiming | 20 |
defeat | 21 |
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and beg for | 22 |
your presence. | 23 |
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i want to drift, | 24 |
like where the | 25 |
rhythm | 26 |
is taking me. | 27 |
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and drift. | 28 |
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drift. | 29 |
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drift away | 30 |
from the solace of | 31 |
slashing | 32 |
one's skin. | 33 |
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11 Sep 05 |
Rated 9 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 9
(define the words in this poem)
(13 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
while the forth stanza is good in paranthesis, lline 18 is somewhat distracting.
and i dont like lines 28 and 29. i dont know if it's the lines, or if it's the full stops on the end of the, though.
but, the rest is pure goodness, and i give this almost perfect rating. if changes are made to the lines mentioned above, my rating will go higher.
— Lia
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