| Wetland Lives in Miniature
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Isabelle5
| The water dark and cold, | 1 |
appearing lifeless, | 2 |
but when the sun | 3 |
illuminates the life below, | 4 |
silver flashes of sardines are seen, | 5 |
mullets ghostlike, black and green. | 6 |
My imagination gives them whiskers, | 7 |
makes them Catfish | 8 |
in an Indiana lake. | 9 |
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An immature Night Heron | 10 |
edges closer from his | 11 |
bit of rusted chain link | 12 |
resting in the water, | 13 |
intently watches minnows swirl. | 14 |
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The path home takes me upward, | 15 |
feet kicking dust and fallen eucalyptus leaves. | 16 |
Old sea shells stuck in the dirt make me | 17 |
wonder when the water was this high. | 18 |
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A snake with a tiny yellow rattle | 19 |
at the end of its tail | 20 |
crosses my path and stops dead; | 21 |
so small, I can’t resist prodding | 22 |
gently with my empty water bottle to listen. | 23 |
No rattle. It nimbly shivers its way | 24 |
into a clump of sparse grass and disappears. | 25 |
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Although there is no one in sight, | 26 |
a still-wet landscape leans | 27 |
against a tree, opened pots of paint | 28 |
waiting for their owner to return. | 29 |
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I think I am the only living creature | 30 |
with tongue to tell this tale. | 31 |
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12 Sep 05 |
Rated 6 (8.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 8
Inactive (3): 6, 9, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(248 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
oh my...you've painted a beautiful picture. i would end it at l26 - 25 and 26 are beautiful and close well.
Sam
— unknown
Thanks, Sam! Nice to see your name here. The walk was amazing and I never found the artist who left the picture and the supplies. I hope he/she returned for them. Won't poke snakes again...
— Isabelle5
you are posting poems by deleting
— unknown
Posting poems by deleting? If you mean I deleted a poem I had previously posted, which I decided I didn't like and wanted to work on off-line, I certainly did that.
Not that it's anyone's business but mine! It's not agains the rules here to mind your own poetry, you know. If you don't like something you wrote, you can get rid of it without recompense. Is that a problem?
— Isabelle5
http://poetry.tetto.org/inf o/
— unknown
Rafter responded - he created the delete button so that we can use it as we wish on our own poems. Deleting and posting is not cheating but something he expected we would do if we didn't like what we posted.
— Isabelle5
this is a fine pome!
— noodleman
Why, thank you, Courageous One!
— Isabelle5
y m i courageous?
— unknown
You comment, you plunge in, you reached out for more babies while being Dad extraordinaire to your son, you are not afraid to sign your name in anger or in fun. I respect that. Plus you're smart; when I consider the classes you take without having to!!! hahaha I stand by my comment, although you may be killing bums on week-ends.
— Isabelle5
love that picture u painted Isabella dear! another good one!
— Odin
Come and visit me, I'll show you all of it. When I brave the wilds again - that rattle snake sort of did in my courage.
— Isabelle5
Great job painting the scene, sounds very peaceful and pretty, needed that!
— wamblicante
Isabelle, you write about nature so ver well. I suppose we all have our own thematic preferences. I would delete line 27. Otherwise, the tone and language capture my full attention.
— borntodance
Sweet! I like how this rhymes and resolves. -C
— unknown
(As far as deleting, be careful about it. I removed a few early on the site when people were rough and didn't respond positively, and then my hard drive had to be dumped and I can't get to my written copies anymore perhaps ever.)
— unknown
Overall a fairly decent poem. The fourth stanza in particular is quite powerful. However the use of life and lifeless in the first stanza just two lines apart rings awkward and indicates a possible lack of vocabulary, creativity, and flow. Additionally, the overall fluidity of the poem is rather rough. Nevertheless the imagery and the constant theme ties the poem together nicely.
— unknown
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