| The Black Light
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unknown
| Cleaning out my | 1 |
Closet | 2 |
In the clarity | 3 |
Of the day, | 4 |
I discovered | 5 |
For the first time | 6 |
The things I already knew, | 7 |
It was then I saw | 8 |
I was at | 9 |
The | 10 |
End, | 11 |
Yet only half way through | 12 |
And through I wandered the Apple orchard | 13 |
Peering at the fruit. | 14 |
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Silently synonymous, symmetry was in poverty and surplus all differently the same. | 15 |
Thus I groaned how Wracked is the mind of all in time who dance | 16 |
With nothingness | 17 |
To the tune worthless | 18 |
On the fading | 19 |
Floor fueled to foul wine. | 20 |
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How can I extricate | 21 |
The ambience | 22 |
Of fate and folly in a clockâs exhale | 23 |
When light | 24 |
Has ceased from invitation to my door? | 25 |
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As fire forges might or blight the testing tube surrounds all clay | 26 |
For black light brings | 27 |
Out white. | 28 |
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Ah Beautiful pain of grief | 29 |
Come visit me | 30 |
In my eve of feigned belief | 31 |
For writing does not sooth | 32 |
The soul of the black light bickerer. | 33 |
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13 Sep 05 |
Rated 7 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 7, 8, 9
(define the words in this poem)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Add A Comment:
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Comments:
i really like this poem a lot. it sounded really good the way i read it. there were a lot of really nice line in it.
"For black light brings 27
Out white. "
Ah Beautiful pain of grief
i would work on the last line of the poem. it doesn't seem the have the same quality as the rest of the poem and it kind of threw me off. one of the things i really liked was the fact that you didn't overuse "black light." the way it is in the last line sounds a bit forced. not that you shouldn't use "black light," but maybe try to find wording that befits the rest of the work.
— lillas
thanks so much for the comment critique. i'm not really sure how i could change the ending, but i'll keep it in mind. i don't normally get a lot of comments and to make this poems your favorite..WOW, i didn't think this poem was that good. thanks again!
— derelict_me
the first half of this started slow, and then halfway through it picked up my interest.
with that said, it , at least, held my interest, but i really didntt understand what you are trying to say here.
i mean, it sounded very pretty and very heartfelt, but i felt like you were speaking in code or something. i dunno, maybe i am just shallow.
anyhow, even though i didnt quite get it, i felt it.
also i thought the title could have been more interesting, to match the rest.
— duffyj83
I think that.. you don't need to capitalize the first word in every line.
Very interesting poem.
— Cloudless
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