| Just Jump
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bear
| Standing on a cliff, | 1 |
not sure if you should jump. | 2 |
When you jump, you push, | 3 |
others will fall with you. | 4 |
You could just push, and you will feel | 5 |
quite alright by that, | 6 |
at least you're not being hurt. | 7 |
Men have pushed thousands, | 8 |
"in the name of profit!" they say. | 9 |
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Hit your alarm and jump. | 10 |
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I will stand there helplessly, | 11 |
watching you fall | 12 |
to | 13 |
your | 14 |
slow | 15 |
death. | 16 |
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15 Sep 05 |
Rated 6.5 (6.7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 5
Inactive (3): 6, 6, 8, 8
(define the words in this poem)
(157 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
if you're not going to jump, why'd you walk to the cliff...
— Frozenstein
i would say we are forced to be there in the society of today. i have to go to school by law. and if i want to survive, technically i need to work. but i will go grudingly.
— bear
I would probably be ok with jumping - don't fancy the landing much though!
— hobby
haha, the jumping could be fun. but yes the landing, would not be. at all.
— bear
wait, wat am i doing? walking off the cliff would be terrible, that means you gave in.
— bear
any thing else?
— bear
I knew a guy called Cliff who always gotten drunk,fell down and people stood on him put no one got hurt when they jumped off.
— larrylark
thats interesting larrylark...
uh whoever gave me a 5, can you please tell me why? i could care less i got a low rating, but it helps to know what i need to work on. thank you
— bear
i understand that this poem has so much meaning and is an abstract view of todays society and how we live, but i don't like it that much. i just didn't found it very interesting. it has a good meaning, though.
line 7 - you're
— Lia
i notice that you replied to my other comments when i praised your poems. since you changed the grammatical error, i can tell you read my comment. i hope you are not angry/upset/annoyed/something else because i didn't particualrly like this particular poem? i wouldn't want that.
— Lia
oops, i thought i did! i'm sorry lia. i was actually glad you understand it, i don't mind if you do not like the content of a poem. i like it when people are honest.
— bear
The poem reads with great clarity, erm, the sentiment is kinda depressing.
— Roz
thanks rob, i agree it is depressing, but i find it so true. it makes me sad...
— bear
I like larry's comment too.
— Roz
thanks bear. :)
ditto roz's comment again. (the one about liking larry's comment)
— Lia
haha larry does crazy things. i like that.
— bear
when someone jumps, do they fall slowly? (are they in space, perhaps? wait, never mind...then they would not be falling...or would they?) slow death...it just confuses me. did you understand a word i just said? maybe i expressed it wrong. whatever. let me know.
is this person sleeping? (|10)
nice jorb. keep on writing.
~duckie
— ducktape
its like buying into the system. its a metaphor for like wasting your life away trying to make money and bullying people out of positions or watever. just joining the ranks of the living dead working 9 to 5
— bear
Why don't you call it 'Don't Fall' or something else guardian-like, compassionate, and caring instead of that raspberry? Interesting social comment and the way wrongdoers tend to psychically and otherwise push victims into similar choices until they master their awarenesses, openness to caring assistance, and responses but you left me with, helplessly watching the masses all turned to lemmings. Why are you helpless and going along with it too? Freedom of speech is your right. C
— unknown
Are you saying by simply changing the title I will no longer be going along with the masses. I thought pointing it out would make me above the masses? Better, more aware, whatever. Maybe you're right, maybe I'm not.
— bear
You should know, I have decided to become a professional bum. I will not be a slave to society. I will not conform.
Just last semester, I decided to drive as far as I felt like. Six states later, I drove back.
The driving back for me was more introspective and metaphorical than the ubiquitious gas stations and tire deflations. Pushing and pulling is not so bad, not when compared to driving.
I noticed a vital hair on the head of life, free will is an illusion but to understand it, deny it, fight against it, that is something worthwhile.
You may have noticed the events uncongeal into an erect river, each ripple marked on a tenuous map, but that does not mean you have to accept it. Fighting inevitabilitiy is the greatest possible battle.
Just release your knowledge before you die.
And this poem sucks.
— pra3torian
haha mate, i don't know what to make of you. you take the time to read something, have a long winded response, give a low rating, and never say how to make the poem better. this amuses me, thanks for reading.
— bear
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