| Dried Pens
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SteelAngel
| I've discovered | 1 |
that since our parting | 2 |
all my pens have dried | 3 |
though I still try sometimes | 4 |
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but the river of word and rhyme | 5 |
that used to meter out | 6 |
my thoughtbeats: | 7 |
a vast arid valley in your absence | 8 |
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where ghost memories whine | 9 |
but in mutterings | 10 |
not worthy of the repetition | 11 |
their echoes make | 12 |
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because as verbose as I was | 13 |
the mouth of creative flow | 14 |
was still that emotive thing | 15 |
I gave up so completely | 16 |
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and what really bothers me | 17 |
is that I miss my words | 18 |
more than that heart, once mine | 19 |
that you love to play with | 20 |
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18 Sep 05 |
Rated 10 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (4): 1, 7, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(39 more poems by this author)
(4 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
This is very smooth and comforting to me. Your use of words lullaby me to peace.
— madderhatter
well, till the last few lines
— madderhatter
yes smooth, trhat sounds good! i experience the opposite, in absence, i find my words, although i am miserable, i am not crazy, at all, about the last two lines, its a shame(for me) becasue the rest of the poem is so fantastic. id go with:
more than your shirts
musky and worn
or asomething of that nature, the line you have there just doesnt seem to fit
— nullus
the point is that i miss my words more than my heart. if i replaced it with shirts the whole meaning would be changed.
— SteelAngel
this is nice. i have some advice for this poem, but unfortunately i haven't the time to post it right now. i'll try sometime tomorrow or tuesday. take care, good jorb, and keep on writing! (;
— ducktape
this is just lovely :)
— WildSymphony
nnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiccceeee - common feeling put in uncommonly good terms....
— feetfirst
I enjoy the fact that in the last stanza not only do you acknowledge the loss of your words but you show that they are more important than your heart which I find twisted and oddly comforting I am truly impressed not only with your writing but your metaphor usage is intense
— turtlepoet
repetition
this is on. really on.
— themolly
hahahaha. i thought it said dried penis.
oh. nice poem, too. :)
— noodleman
oi. I read dried penis.
it's very good though.
even without the penis
— unknown
oh you women and your penis'
— TheO1dCrow
You are full of crap and so are your poems. I think that you need to dig a big hole in the earth and die there. Hey, it's just my opinion, but write something worthwhile before you critique the work of other poets. You don't deserve to be called a poet, and you don't deserve to be called a human being because you are cruel and sick.
— unknown
at least i had the decency to leave my name when i critiqued your work. coward.
— SteelAngel
I think this is fanastic - I love the imagery used to express the love of words. Theres nothing other to say here, other than how great a poem this is.
— clay
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