| 50 cents
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turtlepoet
| Fifty cents, | 1 |
it's all I feel | 2 |
I'm worth when I'm with her. | 3 |
No more | 4 |
than the price of your daily paper. | 5 |
Flat, colorless, and easily read; | 6 |
yet skipped over | 7 |
by ninety percent of the population, | 8 |
their eyes jumping | 9 |
to the "attention-grabbing" funnies; | 10 |
skpped by all | 11 |
...but her. | 12 |
She reads me | 13 |
fully, | 14 |
finding color in the eloquence of words written. | 15 |
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Her my complete compendium | 16 |
of knowledge, | 17 |
my dictionary of truth, | 18 |
my thesaurus | 19 |
...giving new meanings to things | 20 |
I thought I knew. | 21 |
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Then she leaves | 22 |
to read another | 23 |
more vibrant magazine, | 24 |
and for a brief moment I am sad, | 25 |
blank | 26 |
paper silently closed, | 27 |
sopping from my own raining tears. | 28 |
But I buck up | 29 |
because I know in the end | 30 |
she will come back to read my classifieds | 31 |
because she sees me as more... | 32 |
than fifty cents. | 33 |
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19 Sep 05 |
Rated 7.7 (8.3) by 3 users.
Active (3): 7, 8, 8
Inactive (2): 9, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(47 more poems by this author)
(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
hey, i think this is fucking incredible... i know people are guna say stuff about you writing it in one paragraph, but i think this is REALLY good
— hearmyheart
yes, I know "lack of poetic format" but I like to allow readers to go on a journey that is all there own interpret as your heart see's it not as I think it should be read.
— turtlepoet
you ought to see yourself as more than fifty cents as well, turtle man. I like poems that read in paragraphs and ... honesty
— slancho
this is a very good poem, i dont really know the feeling but i totaly see where your coming from! good good
— lulubee
i read the new york post, thats a qaurter except on sundays, so cheer yo ass up, youre worth more than the crap i read
— nullus
I was trying to convey her greatness not my inadequacy but thank you all for your comments it means a lot I was merely saying that her grace overshadows me
— turtlepoet
nice work turtle.
— unknown
i like this a lot, but i wonder why you wrote 50 in the title and fifty in the poem. it seems to me that the title should be fifty as well. just for aesthetic reasons, i guess.
it's only my opinion though
-misswyoming
— unknown
miss W there is actually apurpose to that
but until you see it I have to leave it as "poetic license"
— turtlepoet
this is so adourable. its got that nice cheese factor, but its like sprinkled cheese you know not overflowing with it.L7skipped
L13 take out the elipses
L15 my written words
L20 axe the elipses
L32 snip away the elipses
there is really no use for this in any part of the poem, the rythem is perfectly fine without it.
overall i think you have done a very original and interesting comparison. nice job!
— SweetPain
Line 16 - She, my complete, etc.
You have to read it as though the implied verb IS is really there. So it would be,
She (is), my complete compendium. Not Her is, see? It's a little trick to help decide which pronoun to use.
It does not detract one whit from how much I admire this poem. I do have some problems with "buck up," as it does not seem to fit the "printed form" idea of this. I am also wondering if you could use the word "slick" in place of vibrant magazine. Do you know that mags in yesteryear were called the slicks, because of the shiny paper, the colors, etc.? That might work well here, going with the print theme.
— Isabelle5
Well, I read the author's comments and I didn't really get that she was greater than you at all. I got the feeling that she came, made you feel good about yourself and then tore you down again by heading off to hook up with someone better. She keeps coming back because she knows you'll be there, flat and dull and waiting.
I really did not get that she's all that great. Kind of a user and not that good a friend!
— Isabelle5
in line 11, did you mean a pun when you skipped the letter 'i' in the word skpped? i like the ending :)
— FrayedSkirt
Thank you so much for your comments on "Hey, Poet!" I have recently rekindled my love of slam by attending the west coast slam championships at Big Sur. You should check out a slamer named "Alix Olsen", if you get a chance. As for 50 Cents - Ouch! I like the metaphor with the price of the daily paper, it's very strong. Ouch, ouch, ouch, it's pretty much all I can say about this one. I feel ya!
— FemmeInLA
wicked cool!!
i felt i had to read another one of your poems after the chicken one.... gotta say think this is great, i think everyone can kida tap into that feeling - i think poetry is not about how we write something, but wot we write about, something half the people on this site dont seem to grasp - and u hit the nail on the head with that here. stuff like grammar isnt important, thats my beef.. all that stuff is fine in this poem btw, but the content is fab, spot on my friend - even if i was slightly disappointed on first glance that it wasnt about multiple rapper clones... ho hum, maybe u coul write one about that next???
xx
— Bobby
Awesome.
— unknown
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