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Car Sticker
larrylark

I open the window,
 1
or rather it slides slow,
 2
mechanically down,
 3
in the car park disabled space
 4
at the college
 5
where i wait for my spouse.
 6
 
 
Not being handicapped
 7
in the physical sense,
 8
my mental anguish
 9
saps my strength,
 10
causing immense tension
 11
and stress. I feel entitled
 12
to more space
 13
around my car, to lessen
 14
claustrophobic feelings
 15
of being emotionally scarred,
 16
 
 
so designed a sticker
 17
which i display
 18
"The pain in my brain
 19
is way more insane
 20
than yours."
 21
 
 
This has involved me
 22
so far in one long
 23
boring conversation
 24
on ethics with a caustic priest.
 25
A little old lady who gave me
 26
bandages and corn plasters
 27
for my feet., plus a seriously
 28
damaged woman who prayed
 29
while i made brutal love to her
 30
in a lay by down the way.
 31
Finally a pigeon whose shit
 32
caused a direct hit
 33
centre sticker.
 34
 
 
I'm removing it tonight,
 35
scraping it all away.
 36
There's such a thing
 37
as having too much excitement
 38
in one decade.
 39

20 Sep 05

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Comments:

nice poem. first stanze a bit stuttery for me. just me though.
 — hank

also, should line 17 have an 'I' in it? or maybe just take out 'so'. the punctuation in line 28, purposeful? line 31 a bit confusing but in all i love that stanza 22-34. ending excellent.
 — hank

L28-31 is pretty damn scary. But something about this is really beautiful <3 And I think it's clever how you never reveal your gender...ambiguity is always good
 — alana

"plus a seriously
damaged woman who prayed
while i made brutal love to her"

Does Opal know?! ;)

Well I love this. The last stanza kicks some major ass, especially lines thirty eifght and thirty nine. I might just print this out and send it by snail mail to all my friends, if stamps weren't so damn expensive. Well done, old chap.
 — wendz

Thanks Hank, not to keen on the first stanza myself and am thinking of ways to change it.
 — larrylark

maybe just take the last stanza out? this is pretty great otherwise.
kitkat
 — unknown

Dear Wendz

Of course she knows, and if she doesn't, i know i can rely on you to keep it a secret

Larry lick my decals Lark
 — larrylark

Dear Alana

Don't be scared ,i only made it up.

Larry codswallop head Lark
 — larrylark

Dear Unknown

But where would i take the last stanza out to. The cinema ,a fancy restraunt,a walk among the wonder that is my local neighbourhood? What do you think ,i would be really interested to know.

Larry fine details Lark
 — larrylark

I never saw this before!  Larry, this is quite clever.  Line 28, .,?  Line 31 - what's a lay by?

Lines 32-34 don't sound finished.

I can relate.
 — Isabelle5

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