| Happy Holidays
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bear
| Santa Claus | 1 |
is a communist. | 2 |
He wears | 3 |
red fur. | 4 |
All the elves are equal under him. | 5 |
He believes in no gods. | 6 |
He is god. | 7 |
He told me. | 8 |
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The Easter Bunny is | 9 |
a molester. | 10 |
He steals | 11 |
baby chickens. | 12 |
He does odd things to them, | 13 |
such as paint them and abandon them | 14 |
in your house. | 15 |
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21 Sep 05 |
Rated 8.7 (8) by 3 users.
Active (3): 8, 8, 10, 10
Inactive (7): 2, 6, 7, 8, 8, 9
(define the words in this poem)
(157 more poems by this author)
(6 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
i liked it up to the last line... i suggest taking it out.. other than that it's very clever :)
-gears
— unknown
thank you. i will take it out. it has no reason to be there.
— bear
well that's only my opinion, but i think it takes away from the previous stanzas
i really like lines 4-5 btw
— gears
i agree with you totally. i just kind of threw it in there. it didnt add anything to the poem, it just took away from it. and i do think santa claus is almost a cult figure in our american society.
— bear
bear-I like very much-few comments-line 2 is not needed-it makes line 1 so much better. (typo on L4) and dude you got to change line 8 to molester : P and delete l11 not needed . I agree with gear on L15 comment.
— crepaway
good poem
— noodleman
crepaway, i made some of the changes you suggested, i think its better now!
thanks noodleman, it means a lot when you say it is a good poem, your a great poet!
— bear
LOL top poem and into my favourites. Love it
— larrylark
^_^ I watched this one episode of Seinfeld where Kramer got a job as a department store Santa, and he became a Communist. Hilarious, like this.
— wendz
thanks larrylark, im glad you liked it.
wendz, Seinfeld is one of the best shows ever created. doubtful we'll see another one like it. i vaguely remember that happening. and any comparison to Seinfeld is a HUGE compliment.
— bear
wierd as hell man, the shit you come up with...
— Frozenstein
haha thanks frozen, thats quite a compliment
— bear
HAHAHAHAHA!
— Isabelle5
nice perspective you have there. hehe, great poem, but, if santa doesn't believe in gods, how can he say he is god? he is contradicting himself, isn't he?
— Lia
glad u enjoyed isebelle!
lia, you're right, he is contradicting himself. but, he's santa claus, he does what he wants. and he has a very low self esteeme. he does not believe in himself. poor guy.
— bear
I think the "he told me" line is detracting from the poem, consider removing it. Otherwise, this poem is awesome. An interesting read. Also, why "molester"? consider revising. But again, I wouldn't change much, this poem is great.
— Doulos
ahh. nicely done, then.
leave molester. good word, i used it once.
— Lia
i think molester is a good word, it makes something so innocent as the easter bunny seem so creepy.
— bear
happy holidays everyone!
— bear
This is funny
Did you know that Robin Hood was also communist?
— blankpages
haha i can see that. cheers.
— bear
i think you should either make line 1 into two lines, similar to what you've done with lines 7 & 8, or instead make lines 7 & 8 into one line, like line 1.
the same goes for lines 2, 9 & 10, if you understand what i mean.
line 11, in my opinion, does not really fit, and should be removed, and lines 12 - 14 don't really match the point form style of the rest of the poem, since it starts with "then". maybe if you removed that first word, and perhaps change "leave" to "abandon" or some other such word, the poem might read better.
but all that is merely speculation, one can never be to certain about the outcomes in this modern life.
— inutile
made your changes, much better now. thanks.
— bear
This is darned funny, bear. i do like your sense of humour. My only real crit is that perhaps you could add another stanza. May be the two of them could meet up in the summer hols with weird consequences or is there another santa/easter bunny type character you could include in this.
Anyways, lovely stuff.
— unknown
bear,
I would call this poetry because I read the last stanza for the first time and got an interesting meaning, then read it again and got an entirely new different meaning that somehow echoed my first interpretation. Such a great poem for this time of year; 2:18, if you want to know.
I like this because it is funny and clever and not too much.
— Opinion
Yes, but does he lay Cadburry eggs?
— aforbing
thanks everyone! i'm glad you enjoyed!
— bear
Can I say that I love you?
— mannequill
sure you can.
— bear
happy holidays!
— bear
this is good.
— jumpoline
thanks
— bear
Happy Holidays, bear:)
— unknown
cheers kind unknown!
— bear
Maybe "in your house" could be something more devious, "where you live" or "under your bed" ... or be left out. Doesn't really matter, this is just fine. Hilarious and poemy and favorite-able. Good writing.
— unknown
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