| The Cost of Knowing
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dmartin
| Was I the bad guy | 1 |
for knowing she would never live | 2 |
past the age of thirty-eight | 3 |
but loved her nonetheless | 4 |
pretending I didn’t know | 5 |
what I was about to lose? | 6 |
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Or did she deserve to know | 7 |
that she wouldn’t see | 8 |
her son grow to be a man? | 9 |
Should she wonder | 10 |
why her husband settled | 11 |
on a broken horse? | 12 |
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It was the price he paid for knowing | 13 |
and the same for her not. | 14 |
No one deserves to be God, | 15 |
but the challenge lies within, | 16 |
do you give in and forewarn | 17 |
or live a life of agonistic selfishness? | 18 |
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23 Sep 05 |
Rated 9.5 (8.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 9, 10
Inactive (6): 5, 6, 8, 8, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(142 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
Very original subject! I applaud you on this concept. Minor adjustments: the tenses are confusing, and the changing of 1st person. Other than that, nice work.
— winter
great writing
— unknown
This makes me want to tear out my hair and throw ashes.
— Isabelle5
so sad.......so touching....
— UrbanAng3l
what a terribly painful situation and a sweet poem.
— kitkat
Why is no one reading and rating this? It's worth many readings!
So says I.
— Isabelle5
When I stumble upon a poet that moves me, I'm like a dog with a bone. I can't let go. This is extraordinary. The only thing that nags at me (pun or not) is that you seem to be comparing the wife to a broken horse.
You write great!
— unknown
i like this in many ways, but there are places it doesn't quite work for me. I find the last verse akward, especially lines 16-18. 'the challenge lies within' is a cliche...and 18 feels clumsy too...so...
is there a way to say these things in a less 'conceptual' way. perhaps the questions are obliquely there within the poem and don't need to be splelt out.
how about
'either way/it was the price he paid for knowing/and the same for her not...
and ending it there?
hope some of this is useful
— berrykid
the cost of reading this is quite expensive. do you accept refunds? it has nice ideas but could be more crisp and wittily written.
— unknown
you deserve a very Nobel Prize
— unknown
Hi,
Nice writing, but I agree with berrykid, the poem should end on L14.
Rgds
— hobby
Wow worded very well..i enjoyed reading that
— LuberLips
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