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Mr. Aziz

A consumer of Bollinger Champagne,
and regular quantities of purest cocaine,
Mr. Aziz, astrologer,mystic, clairvoyant
will sell for a nominal fee, agreed
by private treaty,or taken from fixed price lists,
ointments,plus polished stones of medium size, which if kissed
against your penis or swallowed in a mist when your pubic hairs
are aligned with Venus, will effectively return defecting
partners,putting them back into immediate harness.
For an additional start up fee
you may soak your thumb in tea
made from holy tap water. This truly divine
tool will enable your ugliest daughter
to marry the foolish owner of a string
of grocery stores,guaranteeing
your freedom and accord,
a stake in life that soars,
while at the very same instant
giving immediate relief
from grief,disbelief, tantrums and commotions
in the street,plus other unmentionables
arising from disagreements or fuss
with extended family members,
who many times you have wished to dismember.
Rest assured, his work is not trivial,
but confidential and most convivial,
essential to the best of well being.
Ring now enclosing postal order or cheque
and may your all seeing lord bless you.

24 Sep 05

Rated 9 (9.5) by 1 users.
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haha, I like this one. The only thing that sent me for a turn, and I think, detracted from the poem a little was the use of pubic hairs aligning with venus. Perhaps you could change it, even penis flows, but this one line just doesn't seem like something a mystic would say, when the rest is kind of believable. Other than that, it's great, it's original, and it's long enough to give some decent enjoyment.

 — Doulos

I remember this. Sceptical, mischievous, thoroughly entertaining.

P. :0)
 — unknown

*giggle* dry humor and good rhythm. much enjoyed. unfortunately there are 'holistic' products on the market that claim nearly as much.
 — SteelAngel

Thanks Doulos. I wil passon your kind regards to Mr. Aziz who i am seeing this afternoon for some advice on how to marry off my daughters to my financial advantage
 — larrylark

Wow awesome
 — madderhatter

fucking brilliant larry facecious lark.
 — hank

Dear Hank

I found this poem written on the back of a cocaine stained fiver.
 — larrylark

surprised you were able to read it being that it was rolled and sticking in your nose. heh.
 — hank

Ok larry i'm with you , where do i send the money ?
 — sir_I_clan

Dear P

It gladdens the heart of an old soldier like me to have my day illuminated by comments from luminaries like wot you is .Please pass on my kindest felicitations to Miss Haversham and Stella


Larry Old curiosity Lark
 — larrylark

oh Tariq!!!!!!

oh oh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 — unknown