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Time-Machine Buddha
KaliDevi

At the Twilight hue of lucidity
 1
for new moon rising
 2
unmasked off the Cape of Good Hope
 3
Kali Chakra rebounds
 4
dancing Shambala
 5
spinning sideways past inevitability
 6
 
 
Breaking surface to interface
 7
a moment between two periods of sleep
 8
always the same moment
 9
of this suffocating infinity
 10
maze of the straight line
 11
 
 
In my reflection
 12
I am
 13
repelled
 14
further into darkness
 15
to fill the void
 16
is to destroy it
 17
 
 
Echoing a sea of sorrow
 18
exhaled tears fall freely over
 19
skin-tingling phantoms playing
 20
in the shadows
 21
of unresolved chords
 22
 
 
And so it is for me to sing
 23
mute to empty space
 24
as void is my purpose
 25

26 Sep 05

Rated 9 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (3): 7, 9, 10

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Comments:

What?
 — larrylark

best title ever
 — noodleman

Wow, talk about abstract.

This is really interesting, difficult to critique due to the abstract nature though.

I really enjoyed the following:

"maze of the straight line"

"to fill the void is to destroy it"

The only correction I could think to make was line 21 ends in "of" and line 22 begins with "of" simply a typographical error.

This was a very intriguing read.
 — Resonanz

actually it's not abstract you just have to know a little buddhism some minor desi cultur and well ........I like it it's fan-fricken tastic 10101010
 — turtlepoet

scratch first, itch later!!
 — onklcrispy

A couple of nits for this otherwise excellent poem.

Twilight is randomly capitalized. Given the nature of Kali, one expects chaos. But not the single bit. Lowercase twilight, or insert more typographical chaos.

"sea of sorrow" in line 18 is cliche, overwrought and overused. Given the fresh language throughout this work, I expect more than that in that line.

All else is wonder.
 — alicedark

i like the flow and the word use, and the third stanza is what did it for me, amazing job, giong on my favorites
 — activism87

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