| Time-Machine Buddha
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KaliDevi
| At the Twilight hue of lucidity | 1 |
for new moon rising | 2 |
unmasked off the Cape of Good Hope | 3 |
Kali Chakra rebounds | 4 |
dancing Shambala | 5 |
spinning sideways past inevitability | 6 |
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Breaking surface to interface | 7 |
a moment between two periods of sleep | 8 |
always the same moment | 9 |
of this suffocating infinity | 10 |
maze of the straight line | 11 |
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In my reflection | 12 |
I am | 13 |
repelled | 14 |
further into darkness | 15 |
to fill the void | 16 |
is to destroy it | 17 |
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Echoing a sea of sorrow | 18 |
exhaled tears fall freely over | 19 |
skin-tingling phantoms playing | 20 |
in the shadows | 21 |
of unresolved chords | 22 |
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And so it is for me to sing | 23 |
mute to empty space | 24 |
as void is my purpose | 25 |
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26 Sep 05 |
Rated 9 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 9
Inactive (3): 7, 9, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(2 more poems by this author)
(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
What?
— larrylark
best title ever
— noodleman
Wow, talk about abstract.
This is really interesting, difficult to critique due to the abstract nature though.
I really enjoyed the following:
"maze of the straight line"
"to fill the void is to destroy it"
The only correction I could think to make was line 21 ends in "of" and line 22 begins with "of" simply a typographical error.
This was a very intriguing read.
— Resonanz
actually it's not abstract you just have to know a little buddhism some minor desi cultur and well ........I like it it's fan-fricken tastic 10101010
— turtlepoet
scratch first, itch later!!
— onklcrispy
A couple of nits for this otherwise excellent poem.
Twilight is randomly capitalized. Given the nature of Kali, one expects chaos. But not the single bit. Lowercase twilight, or insert more typographical chaos.
"sea of sorrow" in line 18 is cliche, overwrought and overused. Given the fresh language throughout this work, I expect more than that in that line.
All else is wonder.
— alicedark
i like the flow and the word use, and the third stanza is what did it for me, amazing job, giong on my favorites
— activism87
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