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Jambled
kandiekay

Spinning in four-cornered triangles,
 1
I look for the end of the sky
 2
and I say to myself, "Self,
 3
you are far on the road to nowhere,
 4
which goes around the inbetweens of galaxies
 5
eight.point.three.and.a.half.times."
 6
 
 
So I dive into that iceblock,
 7
as fire burns in my mouth
 8
and blood drips from my toes,
 9
and I reach for that watery sun,
 10
and toss it, drop it, kick it, stop it, pick it up and throw it.
 11
 
 
Now you will see me jump into the sky
 12
and lay yet again down on my cloud 9
 13
to sleep my lively sleep forever tonight.
 14

28 Sep 05

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Comments:

Anyone wanna help me out on this one?
 — kandiekay

things i love: lines 1,2,5,6, 7-10 (without the ands, though)

things i donna like: lines 4,13 (cliche) and line 14 just the "forever tonight" part

things i might play with: line breaks mostly at the end of strophes.

enjoyed.
 — noodleman

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