| His Ex, My Oh
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Isabelle5
| He wore her on his sleeve, | 1 |
like an emblem declaring | 2 |
him a member of the | 3 |
“My girl is hot!” Club. | 4 |
Years later, I lie on his bed, | 5 |
looking at the picture | 6 |
propped against his radio. | 7 |
His arm is warmly around her, | 8 |
(protective or possessive, it’s hard to tell). | 9 |
She stands with her head | 10 |
against his chest, close, | 11 |
confident in his care, unaware that she is | 12 |
but a trophy bird he caught | 13 |
to have and to hold, | 14 |
to be stuffed and | 15 |
mounted on a shelf. | 16 |
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He does not attempt to wear me at all. | 17 |
I dangle from his belt loop | 18 |
by the fingertips of one hand, | 19 |
the other hand tripping | 20 |
all the pretty young girls who | 21 |
catch his eye with their | 22 |
be-jewelled belly buttons winking arrogantly | 23 |
above low riding jeans. | 24 |
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I am not lost in jealousy, as he imagines, | 25 |
but in sepia-edged memories | 26 |
of when I was the proud emblem | 27 |
worn on the sleeves of young men, | 28 |
sorority-sister in the “I’m a Hot Girl!” Club. | 29 |
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Kept under glass (and lock) | 30 |
more than once, | 31 |
I am now on my own, | 32 |
resting with my own arms around me, | 33 |
my feathers dulled by Life’s dust | 34 |
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but there are men with mental trophy rooms | 35 |
where I still stand bright and young, (oh, so young!) | 36 |
bending their sleeves with the weight of me. | 37 |
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29 Sep 05 |
Rated 8.6 (7.8) by 16 users.
Active (16): 1, 4, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (34): 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 6, 6, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
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(248 more poems by this author)
(38 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
Sad, beautifully written. Whatever happened to feminism.
— Roz
I never was a feminist, I was a young, feminine optimist. I wanted to be a wife and mommy, maybe write some poems and books on the side. I got to be a wife and a mother and now I have to think what to do with the empty years ahead without the husband and with children grown and moved to other states.
It is a breaktaking amount of personal freedom, Ladies, in case you're thinking that it's lonely. It can be but it can be productive and full and without having to ask permission for anything at all. What a relief!
— Isabelle5
Make that breathtaking. Gee, what a difference one letter can make!
— Isabelle5
Hey, this is a beatifully written, heartfelt piece, but it still feels like it needs just that last extra oomph. If I could give this a 9.9 I would, but it's not quite a ten yet. Maybe a couple more powerful words, maybe a couple lines reworded, I can't say what will make this better, but I know it's oh so close to being just right. A few lines are absolutely awesome, 34-36 are awesome. Maybe it' the "my girl is hot" and the "I'm a hot girl" lines that seem to pull away from this otherwise whistful and reflective piece. Lose those, and it would give this the extra boost it wants, I think. But it's just a personal opinion, for me it would help the mood.
— Doulos
Isa, I knew that was you the moment I read it ...
you definitely have that style of yours, unmistakable, rich, exquisite ...
Wonderfully done, as always, thank you
Maria
— slancho
Doulos, how would you change this to keep the idea of the I've got a hot girl club without saying it?
— Isabelle5
where I still stand bright and young, (oh, so young!)
that creased me up
— unknown
This is truly execelent. This is one of the best poems that I have come across in a long time in both the amateur and professional arena. I love your imagery. I love everything about this. It's sad but it is also profoundly touching. I Really Really Really love it! One of my favorites!
— Emilily
wow its beautiful......reminds me of dirty old men.....make that rich dirty old men.....but u seem like the controller of all of them in this poem......love it.....just wondering do you publish any of your poems?....
— UrbanAng3l
Well written and full of meaning. Beyond my experience (i had better check with my lass). Thank you, much room for thought here.
— WilliamGruff
great poem
— bobbykeyes
nice poem.
— hank
love it
— rlively
I knew it was by you, Isabelle. From the start. Very good imagery, and a nice example of the spitting image of, well... you.
— pennylane
Pennylane, I'm astonished and delighted. I don't always know my own voice so if it comes through sometimes recognizably, I'm happy. Thank you! You made my day - well, that and my grandson being born at 2 am!
— Isabelle5
this is so cool
— tragicbubble
beautiful thoughts!
— unknown
i dont really get this poem but it was a good poem
— unknown
You don't get this? It's a woman who is old enough not to compete for a man's affection or attention, nor jealous of younger, prettier girls, because she had her own coterie of male attention when she was young and since she still attracts men, she can be content with growing older and love her new old self.
— Isabelle5
I really like this.
— anonymous_i
Lovely - completely beautiful. The last line does it all for me.
— WordsAndMe
OMG, so Good! It's very realistic and the imagery is perfect. I can relate.
— FolleRouge
I love the title. Very witty.
— leukothea
Dear Isabelle
This is one fantasic poem
Larry
— larrylark
Larry, I tried to e-mail you and was given the dreaded DEMON reply that your e-mail is bad for me.
Imc
— Isabelle5
Back on a reread. Recently found a picture of my boyfriend's ex in his room - initially, I was going to become a typical, raving, jealous-for-no-true-reason, 17 year old girlfriend -- then, I decided to come read this peice. Thanks, Isabelle. For indirectly mending my situation you never knew would come to be :). A great write!
— WordsAndMe
Glad to be helpful. I hate feeling jealous, don't you?
— Isabelle5
this is really nice. it's so sad, though. and sadly true. it's written beautifully. <3
— missmurder
thus us amazing. thank you.
— Seeker
What a great poem, Isabelle. Really. Nicely done. It's a sad poem, but in another way..I don't know, I guess the end just seemed optimistic (in a way) to me. You did a great job presenting this, and I have no critique.
— MEB
This is not supposed to be a sad poem! It's an acknowledgment that we all have a turn in the sun and the memory of it keeps us from being jealous of the new ones. Secure and calm poem, not envious and certainly not sad (well, maybe a teense but not much!). imc
— Isabelle5
I understand what you're saying, but the sad part (for me, anyway) is that men fail to see the beauty of older women as well as younger women.
— MEB
I have found that they very much appreciate older women, at least the guys I have been blessed to know. But we have to be realistic about it - They want children of their own someday and I'm not doing all that again. I had my shot at it, I don't begrudge them theirs. I know what you mean, though. I wish I was young again and knew what I know now.
— Isabelle5
I'd take the wisdom of experience over the vulnerabilies of innocence anyday. Thankyou for sharing this poem. this is very fine work.
— unknown
we are our own sentimental objects only leant to others. This speaks from an honest heart, raw and unflinching in its delivery and a beautiful earnest poem.
Caducus
— Caducus
I really like this one. Its very real, lots of the poetry on this site can be airy fairy and pretentious, but this is perfect. One of the best poems I've ever read to be honest!
— icepineapple
Line 25-26 are my favourites., line 23-24 are my least favourites, but overall I love this poem so that isn't really much of a criticism. This is longer than I usually like but was riveted.
— propoet50
BOOOOOOOOOOOO
— unknown
wow! very will done.
— soccerangel
Isabelle, lovely. I hope to learn from you.
— Meredith
in my experience, it is a tad rare to find a "man" that is not somehow very much a boy inside; regardless of age( myself included ). i've always considered women to generally be the more mature of the sexes ( perhaps due to their pubescent head-start? ). i can empathize with your comment on permission for sure. it is enjoyable.nice poem...
— chuckles
In my experience (as a woman), it's impossible to find an adult who doesn't have a bit of child peeking out from behind the eyes, asking, "Did they catch on that I'm an imposter yet?" We're all illusions...
— Isabelle5
Very cool! Very strong independant woman! Love it
— valleygirl
SWEET perfection!! Author! Author!! Show thyself...
— aforbing
Of course, it's IMC. I should have known...
— aforbing
Well, thanks for reading a year later, A! hahaha Been a little busy, have you? lol
— Isabelle5
Yeah... I can't believe I missed out on this one for a YEAR!!!!!!!! My loss!
— aforbing
So, so, beautiful! I cant believe i missed this for a year either.
— nickiblitz
I blinked and it was on the Best list, blinked again and it's gone! hahaha, that's how it goes here.
— Isabelle5
it definately deserves to be on the best list. well expressed.
— SteelAngel
I am a woman of 60. It takes life and time to write this poem. Bravo
— unknown
i love line 33.
— unknown
I just found this again, and I still love it.
— FolleRouge
Thank you, sincerely.
— Isabelle5
I love it more every time I read it. Glad to see it on "America's Top 40" again.
— aforbing
hahaha is Casey Kasem still alive? hahaha
— unknown
This is an excellent poem, but it seems to have more to do with the importance of physical appearance than I can understand.
— shoes
I'm so glad this made it back to the Top Rated list; otherwise I might have never gotten the chance to read it. I always enjoy your work, Isabelle, as well as your tactful comments. The delicate internal rhymes of L12 and L33 illustrate what is so great about this piece, and the last line... killer. Way to go!
— DrakeScott
isabelle this is my favorite poem of yours
— humblebee
it is beautiful. honest and every bit of youth captured. it's simply real. great work.
— dmartin
Shoes, it does have to do with appearance but not really in a bad way. It's more about letting go of youth and its perks, relaxing in the memories without clinging to it desperately or becoming depressed that you aren't as "hot," (which is so subjective anyway) as you once were. As long as you remain as healthy as you can be, it can be a relief to let the younger set worry about how they look every minute of the day. Watch old women on park benches - if they smile as they watch, it's not always the grand kids they're grinning about.
— Isabelle5
You go, girl! This kind of independence and ferocious feminine strength would only perplex him anyway! Great poem with an incredible sense of self perception! Love it! "10."
— starr
I'm not sure about all of this - the sentiment is good and the poem certainly worth reading, but I find the central conceit of the various trophies somewhat overworked.
I find some of it a little clumsily expressed, e.g l32 and why does life have a capital letter in l33? I don't like the contents of the parentheses in line 35 either.
Maybe I'm just in a fussy mood today.
— opal
You say what you want to say, nothing more, nothing less. I like it.
— BVZ
I enjoyed your poem. It was written in a fresh interesting way. You keep the attention of the reader although you are descriptive.
— Bandrews
I agree with Opal. The material is too small for the length you stretched it to, and the trophy/"hot" club thing is a tad overcooked. "Stuffed and mounted more than once" is clever, but if we take the double meaning, it makes the speaker a sad and pitiful figure, which I don't think is what you're aiming for.
— unknown
If you think the speaker is a sad creature for saying mounted more than once, you need to read it again. You missed the composure and confidence inherent in having been chosen many times, not used and discarded.
— Isabelle5
30 users consider this poem a favorite)
this says all you need Isabelle5.
this was one of the first poems I commented on...
— chuckles
No, I get it. I simply think "stuffed and mounted" is harsh terminology to use if you're conveying pride over being chosen vs. shame over being used and discarded. That's just one person's opinion, and I'm apparently in the minority, so no worries.
— unknown
Stuffed and mounted is like the prize on the wall, the precious trophy, the thing you wanted, it has nothing to do with being used as merely an object. I see what you mean about how that might sound but that isn't how I was meaning it.
I'll think about it, though. Thanks for commenting about that jarring note.
— Isabelle5
Okay, I made a change to the 'stuffed and mounted' line. This might work better.
— Isabelle5
I have to say, as an older women, this poem rings true to my experience. I see younger women as ,well, younger. And yes in our society much is made of physical perfection and beauty. My hats off to the young, but I would never want to repeat those early days when we think physical beauty will carry us for life. My mother and father constantly reminded me that developing ourselves was the best investment we could make. And yes, haven't all women had the experience of being someone special (mental trophy's)? I think most women have, or maybe it's the one's I meet. We have much to offer. And not only as grandmothers, wives, ex-wives , poets or leaders.-and that's why I like the image of "resting my arms around me, my feathers dulled by Life's dust"-it's truly haunting and I like the idea behind it-that you may SEE my hands around me,myself and I but in reality we have reached the prime of our lives. It can never be said enough and I thank you for saying it so well.-gailwinds
— gailwinds
Wow, thank you for that. I'd be young again maybe for a short time, but only if I was able to know what I know now. (I do miss my 23 1/2 inch waist, though.)
— Isabelle5
Only maudlin words are "Life's dust." Maybe if life wasn't capitalized it would work better. I really like the poem and the ending is powerful. Thanks.
Second reading: First stanza you should take out "like." He wore her on his sleeve, an emblem.
Lucy
— mnemosyne
Can't take out "like, " as it's describing how he wore her. She was not an emblem, he just pretended that she was.
As for Life - I like the cap, as I'm referring to Life as the name of our journey on this planet.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, that's generous.
— Isabelle5
OOH - I like that 'confident in his care' and 23 and 24 - great imagery.
— dia
nice poem
— marco
Love has very little to do with most forms of marriage. It is usually DarWINian yet may have Human affection as its basis -- Lifting the veil... the seeker of Truth, the Poet, sees it all as Beauty eventually, the good the bad and the ugly, all have a part to play -- even our DNA assigns a hormone to attraction, so are we free to choose? Why do we average our looks over millions of years, to only evolve in but a few. Monoculture, is that not an Oxymoron? Wildness is the creative, the mutation is Natures goal, and a longing for a Beauty, no eye has ever seen, a bridge to new wonders of a Man, and a Woman thats never been ... a bridge over a swamp you call your home -- -- you've captured the feeling of l -- we all strive to Love, yet stray only to affection ... perhaps we falter lesser still, to whimper in the closeness,
instead of burn in the longing Dream
— AlchemiA
Alchie, is that a response to the poem or just your opinions on marriage? Many marriages are based on love and friendship so I cannot agree with you on that. There are others that just can't work and I would guess the partners know that before they even attempt it. I've read that people should know each other and date a minimum of 18 months before any committment. That's how long infatuation usually lasts. Imagine if people didn't have to wait 3 days for a marriage license but 2 years! Plus, you get fined if you have a baby during the waiting period!
I doubt any of it would stop people from getting married OR having babies!
— Isabelle5
ouch....this hurts. beautifully written though, elegant and poised but at the same time so intensely sad. just...wow, kind of blows me away:
"he does not attempt to wear me at all"
again...i say, ouch!
but thanks for such a gorgeous read.
— fusion
Oh, that isn't a sad line! It's supposed to indicate that I am not someone he can claim, I am too independent and beyond all his very young behaviors. One of the hazards of being with a man very much younger...fun but there are issues that arise. haha!
— Isabelle5
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