poetry critical

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wooden benches
tragicbubble

and its so nice to see
 1
you kneeling in front of me
 2
your stomach in knots and
 3
my fingers crossed
 4
as you chase forgiveness
 5
and i give in to the fall
 6
that decided all.
 7

1 Oct 05

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nice poem. good title.

kaleidazcope
 — unknown

Hm. Well. I'm drawn to this poem quite strongly. I commented on another poem today on the nature of enigmas and the difficulty of achieving a balance between detail and mystery, but this one really hits it for me. The tenuous connection between title and body, the feeling of retribution and the strangely emotional letdown of the last line. I don't even have criticism, just wanted to register my appreciation.
 — dandy
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