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psychedelico
| we sit in your car, | 1 |
the fog looming ominously | 2 |
outside the windshield. | 3 |
nothing but feather gray | 4 |
and black and us, | 5 |
talking nonchalantly | 6 |
while the night air | 7 |
clings sharply to our cozy | 8 |
tête-à-tête. | 9 |
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you speak of azimuth angles | 10 |
and being too smart for | 11 |
your own good. we're | 12 |
just misanthropes at bay, | 13 |
i say, and we both | 14 |
chuckle mirthlessly | 15 |
because it's true. | 16 |
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our eyes gaze upward | 17 |
and rather than feeling | 18 |
insignificant, we turn | 19 |
to each other with | 20 |
softened smiles | 21 |
etched in autumn's | 22 |
passive resistance. | 23 |
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for once, we're not alone. | 24 |
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6 Oct 05 |
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(29 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
nice, but i have an issue with the description of being in the car and it is black outside and then your eyes gaze upward. you've created a 'closed in' atmosphere that doesn't really make 'gazing up' believable. anyway. just my reaction to this. nice moment described though.
— hank
i don't really understand the purpose of the title, unless it's alluding to physics somehow?
— oblivious
well, i realize that i didn't come out explicitly and say it, but the "gazing up" is referring to a sunroof. can anyone think of a better way to work that in?
— psychedelico
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