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A gay Jack tumbles for Jyl
netskyIam

http://tinyurl.com/dydr8

If I were Jack I'd climb her hill.
 1
I'd carry all her water.
 2
Just because I wanted to,
 3
not because I oughter.
 4
 
 
I'll fall down and break my crown.
 5
I'll not die or cry for that.
 6
I'll pick it up and fix it up,
 7
I'll crown my Jyl atop the hill.
 8
I'll crown her as I ought to.
 9
 
 
Jyl, the golden girl men love,
 10
has me as her subject now
 11
but all I have to give to her
 12
are words as thin as water.
 13
 
 
Were I a different sort of man,
 14
the kind that serves her nature's plan,
 15
I'd toss all other Jacks aside.
 16
I'd woo her to become my bride.
 17
 
 
Jyl,
 18
dear sovereign queen of love,
 19
I can't do more in offer
 20
than ask by liquid wish if you'll
 21
drink from this welling proffered.
 22

14 Oct 05

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i like this!  it reminds me of something i found on the internet today, trying to show what a “hard language English is to understand”.  this is what it said:

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

In plain English what does this translate to?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after!

Sorry this isn’t much help to your poem; i just thought it was cute and your poem reminded me of it!
 — woman_power

humbly in tumble. O-Netsky-You-Are a wonderful versemaker/poet. This is sweet... but delicious sweet. tart, no overdose of sugar and the ability to laugh good-humouredly (yes) at oneself is a blessing for the reader as well. perfectly rounded candy red apple 10.

a treat
 — graceinmtl

PS   lucky Jyl to have such an adoring and adorable Jack
 — graceinmtl

Oh, dear grace I did not know you had been here!
I offer up ten cups of cheer. Happy next year of  '06!
-mortality-
Oh, dear grace you'll out-past me,
who dies someday sans progeny.  
Gracelesly, I am no net'
nor 'sky nor proof
from exit-hooks.

A child of Noah's refuge ark
could stave a son-less from the dark.

For grace who is a woman, kind.
From one man who lived half blind
 — netskyIam

I like this.  I wrote a sonnet likening love to water in a similar way;  I think its a great metaphor.  Props for using it well here.
 — root

Too silly for words
 — larrylark

"I like this.  I wrote a sonnet likening love to water in a similar way;  I think its a great metaphor.  Props for using it well here.
– root "  Hey there.  I'd love to see that poem.  Is is up on this board?  I can't see your poem list.  Thanks for commenting.  I do want to see the sonnet.   thanks.
 — netskyIam

Good looking girl, Reid.

Funny, I guess I never figured gay guys 'tumbled' so?

Did you give her the poem?

The sonnet:  http://poetry.tetto.o rg/read/15240/
 — root

You dont usually find rhyme schemes like this whole bit done so well... amusing if not great.
 — sShelled

Lovely!
 — mandolyn

Interesting!!
 — psychofemale

This has stalkerish vibes to me.  Kinda creepyy....
 — Known

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