| Rejuvenated (Haiku)
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scottrs
| Golden silence falls | 1 |
Where children rest from laughter | 2 |
Naps are always good | 3 |
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20 Oct 05 |
Rated 6.3 (8) by 3 users.
Active (3): 7
Inactive (7): 2, 5, 7, 7, 8, 10, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(32 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
i like line 1 and 2 i think you can do something more verbally interesting with 3
— bettalpha
did you need help with the title?
— ducktape
oh i like your haiku, yet i agree with bettalpha's comment. (; good jorb and keep on writing! (;
— ducktape
you seem to really like haikus. (;
— ducktape
Thanks! I do like them. Titles sometimes confuse the issue, and on this I am drawing a blank. Always up for suggestions.
— scottrs
I'm gonna agree with bettalpha about line 3, but I laughed.
It's cute.
— Notecompsure
DUCKTAPE One does not title a Haiku.
— unknown
Titles on haiku is certainly debatable. Sometimes they fit, sometimes they don’t. In this case, could not think of something that fit. It’s a process and maybe I’ll come up with something, or maybe others will give their suggestions to help me out.
— scottrs
Oh, yes, indeed, the silence of the lambs! hahaha
— Isabelle5
Why don't you title your haiku?
— Isabelle5
i do try to title them. I just couldn’t find something that fit here.
— scottrs
Silence is golden? Quiet Time?
— Isabelle5
ok, think it fell into place... found a title.
— scottrs
sweet, successful haiku. I would break laughter down into two 1-syllable words which are crisp + tight. Something like.....
Where children rest from spilled joy......
Also... atre you sure you want the silence to be golden? Just a thought.
— graceinmtl
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