poetry critical

online poetry workshop

"how is memory like mammary?"

Memory is bound to rhyme
and will serve for many lines
of metronomic valentines.
Ah, but when we tick
unrhrymed exclusive
then, like women,
mem.'s elusive.

21 Oct 05

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oh thank you... i'm such a sucker for short poems anyway and this one is a great change to what i've read lately.  A+ in my book.
 — exparadise

this flows really well, and seems to get through your point.  good jorb.  (;
 — ducktape

*through to your point, i mean.
 — ducktape

doggerel, clever... was "inspired" by a freaked-out poet at another board, worrying aloud "Oh my God I have to give a recitation of one of my poems from memory to a group.  How can I possibly remember even six lines!!!".     So I thought: I'll give him seven for example that -are- easy to recall because -our brains swing to rhyme.  Mixed rhyme schemes above hardly matter.   Thanks very much you two  beautiful mam's! for your comments.  I wuv couplets... meaning I wuv nice peeps like you to  guys.
 — netskyIam

the point is.. WHY don't you guys turn from "my broken heart" stuff and make instead some light fluff like this?  It's more fun.  I promise. You can do wonderful things.  

find a tiny truth and make a verse about that
 — netskyIam

L5 oops?
 — unknown