poetry critical

online poetry workshop



"how is memory like mammary?"
netskyIam

Memory is bound to rhyme
 1
and will serve for many lines
 2
of metronomic valentines.
 3
 
 
Ah, but when we tick
 4
unrhrymed exclusive
 5
then, like women,
 6
mem.'s elusive.
 7

21 Oct 05

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Comments:

oh thank you... i'm such a sucker for short poems anyway and this one is a great change to what i've read lately.  A+ in my book.
 — exparadise

this flows really well, and seems to get through your point.  good jorb.  (;
 — ducktape

*through to your point, i mean.
 — ducktape

doggerel, clever... was "inspired" by a freaked-out poet at another board, worrying aloud "Oh my God I have to give a recitation of one of my poems from memory to a group.  How can I possibly remember even six lines!!!".     So I thought: I'll give him seven for example that -are- easy to recall because -our brains swing to rhyme.  Mixed rhyme schemes above hardly matter.   Thanks very much you two  beautiful mam's! for your comments.  I wuv couplets... meaning I wuv nice peeps like you to  guys.
 — netskyIam

the point is.. WHY don't you guys turn from "my broken heart" stuff and make instead some light fluff like this?  It's more fun.  I promise. You can do wonderful things.  

find a tiny truth and make a verse about that
cheers,
reid/netsky
 — netskyIam

L5 oops?
 — unknown

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