| i watch light through raindrops
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exparadise
| it's a grave morning | 1 |
staring up and through | 2 |
to a heaven without you | 3 |
and how can i now not admit | 4 |
God makes sacrifices for me | 5 |
leaving you here | 6 |
to sleep on my blood stained sheets | 7 |
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i scream at ceilings | 8 |
i sit on roof tops and bleed | 9 |
i sin with computer screens | 10 |
i sleep through life | 11 |
i silently fall from light | 12 |
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then i turn towards a window | 13 |
and with one arm pushed under her neck | 14 |
and the other holding on too tightly | 15 |
i step into love | 16 |
and i accept my perfect fate | 17 |
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24 Jun 03 |
Rated 8.7 (7.6) by 3 users.
Active (3): 7, 7, 9, 10
Inactive (10): 1, 3, 5, 7, 7, 9, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(55 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
It's good to see your writing again, exparadise. I'm not sure they should have, but the first two stanzas honestly made me cry. I feel privileged to get this insight into you. I'm sure this'll be echoed, but your poetry has always kind have hit me hard. Well done.
— luella
thank you, luella. that means a lot to me.
— exparadise
one of the best poems i've read on the site so far[which is a lot.]
it made me cry, which, i applaud you for being able to do.
i love the seperation of the stanzas, and the good use of 'i' in the second one.
and i also like lines 4-7, that might be what got me.
perfect 10, and definitely a favourite poem of mine.
— shakeit
i loved this. The rhythm and the way everything flowed into each other was great. What's even better is that the ending is a clincher. It makes the whole poem better than it already was. Nice job...
— AgentA
I am really not feeling this one -- your first line has a nice rhythm, and you keep it going right through line two, maybe three, maybe even four -- but content-wise, you already lose me with line 3 -- and lines 5-7, I've so walked out on you. As for stanza 2: capitalize your i's. Stanza 3: see comments on stanza one, except without the rhthym bit.
— unknown
i appreciate the comments, but what would capitalizing my i's add to the poem?
— exparadise
Trust me, I agree with her. Capitalize your I's. It's sloppy not to.
— unknown
i think it's conceited to always capitalize i's. me isn't capitalized. what's so special about i, anyway? just because the american grammar rules say i should be capitalized doesn't mean it's a good rule. i's remain uncapitalized and if it's sloppy, so be it.
— exparadise
i think it's conceited to always capitalize i's. me isn't capitalized. what's so special about i, anyway? just because the american grammar rules say i should be capitalized doesn't mean it's a good rule. i's remain uncapitalized and if it's sloppy, so be it.
you fucking idiot, notice I didn't captalize the "y" on you. Why? Becuase you don't deserve it.
— unknown
When you don't capitalize "I," it looks like you're a little kid who just got the internet and you're typing instant messages to your friends. Never in professional writing do you write "i" so why would you disservice yourself (especially when you are writing something that means something to you) by not capitalizing?
— restless
hmm. i like this.
— dismantleme
Goth shite
— unknown
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