poetry critical : poem

For the poets I met at the cafe

I want	1
a hat	2

that says	3

"hey, I'm	4
a fucking poet	5

a real	6
literary	7
type	8

I've got these	9
deep thoughts	10
see, you just	11
wouldn't understand	12

I don't go	13
for your	14
pop culture	15
bullshit	16

I live outside	17
the fabric of	18
time"	19

but, I can't	20
find the	21
color I	22
want,	23

slate grey,	24

you know,	25
something	26
brooding	27

esoteric,	28

but brooding	29

and the	30
style,	31

it's gotta	32
be just	33
right	34

I've got	35
these	36
delicate	37
cheekbones	38

and	39

I don't	40
want the	41
hat	42

you know	43

taking	44
emphasis	45

over	46
the	47
cheekbones	48

I just	49
want it	50
to bring	51
me some	52

added	53
masculinity	54

you know	55

buff the	56
image	57

cause	58
really	59

I'm a	60
limp wristed	61
faggot	62

I've never	63
done those	64
things	65

you know	66

busted my	67
hand on	68
another	69
man's face	70

fucked a	71
chick in	72
the ass,	73

had to do that	74
whole reality	75
of the 6-4:30	76
mandatory overtime	77
blue collar experience	78

I've read	79
about them,	80

and really,	81
have a keen	82
insight into	83
the realities	84

moreso than the	85
ignorant chaps	86
that live it	87

but,	88

as you	89
can tell	90

I've been	91
blessed with this	92
gift	93

and it keeps my	94
cuticles	95
rounded	96

and my face	97
soft	98

so I want	99
the hat	100

you know	101

just to give	102
me that	103

extra	104

credibility	105

31 Oct 05

Rated 8 (8) by 2 users.

Active (2): 8, 8
Inactive (0):

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nikkimint55
xisocracyx

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Comments:

at the outset, this poem is captivating, but then it falls into little itty-bitty shitballs.
— unknown

Made me dizzy coming all the way down the slide but it's worth it!  Nice.
— Isabelle5

um, no.
— unknown

This started out very nicely.  It started to lose me with the extra "you knows" lying about.  I wouldn't have been unhappy if this poem ended at L23, even though there are parts later on that I enjoyed.
— aeturnus

I absolutely love the first eight lines.
— xisocracyx

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