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Antique Shop

Among this trick acknowledgement of mechanical birds
with clocks keys and stops to check their slow grinding,
minder dog growls and the cat turns sleepily along a ledge,
flicking its lazy tail against stiff slivers of lemon rind,
that once sent lethargic ripples across a surface of gin.
This old curiosity shop is of infinite Dickensian depth,
where you never quite reach the old stuffed bear,
standing tall in a forest of fur,
sniffing the air through a mist of mothballs,
nonchalantly leaning against the wall.
This room has properties which darken all its colours,
making objects appear indeterminate without outline,
dipped in a cauldron of brown.
An old man wearing a quilted jacket,
frequently mistaken for a waxwork, blinks an eye.

1 Nov 05

Rated 6 (7.5) by 1 users.
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wow, this is simply lovely. The language and the images are running through my mind like a well rehearsed movie. This is splendid.
 — Gabriella

The lines are really oddly formed, can you fix that in the Edit mode?  

I was hoping for more to this.  The ending, the old man, is good but I want it to be longer, more description of the items and the scent of dust in this place.  Maybe a customer or two.
 — Isabelle5

Dear Isabelle

Less is more, though there was an old tramp who they found mouldering away under an antique table. Nobody noticed until his body, having rotted away,became detched from his head which rolled into the middle of the floor and the stuffed bear picked it up and swallowed it whole

Larry living dead Lark
 — larrylark

Changed it - any better?
 — larrylark

Wow. I really like this. Line eight is my favorite.
  This is clean, which I like.
 — Hear

Dear Hear

You'll be pleased to know i polshed this one up before posting

Larry elbow grease Lark
 — larrylark

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