| My Mother's Garden
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Isabelle5
| My mother didn’t wish to be a burden | 1 |
so she arranged to have | 2 |
her body burned. | 3 |
How I wished she had chosen | 4 |
to leave us on a sail-boat, | 5 |
filled with fragrant oil, wood and flowers, | 6 |
so we could light her pyre, | 7 |
send her out to sail the sea. | 8 |
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There is no place to visit her, | 9 |
to leave a flower for her feet | 10 |
or a blanket to warm her head-stone, | 11 |
only this dust that was my mother | 12 |
and I cannot stop crying. | 13 |
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When I brought a rose bush | 14 |
to plant in her back-yard garden, | 15 |
I was not surprised to find her there. | 16 |
She inhaled the fragrance of the roses and the day, | 17 |
cupped my face in her hands and kissed me, | 18 |
(just like when she was alive) | 19 |
smiled and faded like mist. | 20 |
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My father found me standing in the rain, | 21 |
listened to the story of my day-dream, | 22 |
then he leaned in close, | 23 |
and with his thumb, | 24 |
gently wiped away red lipstick | 25 |
from my cheek. | 26 |
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3 Nov 05 |
Rated 9 (7.5) by 4 users.
Active (4): 7, 9, 9, 10
Inactive (4): 1, 5, 7, 8
(define the words in this poem)
(248 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
I was expecting this to be painfully sappy, but it turned out very nice in the end. Good job.
— FangzOfFire
Thanks, Fangz. My mother is still alive and well. She does want to be cremated and I'm trying to deal with it. I rather like the idea of being planted.
— Isabelle5
Just beautifully sad. Loved it
— larrylark
Thanks, Larry.
— Isabelle5
Sad? It is but it has the feel of Ponette, the unexpected glimpse of the holes in the earth where Mothers can come back sometimes and leave a touch.
— unknown
good job i enjoyed an unexpected endingg short and too the point nice i like it 8
— speech_less
Wow, touching, bittersweet. I just got a new job and was a bit spacey yesterday. I visited my Dad's and father-in-law's graves and told them about it (literally). I hope they heard me, perhaps they can. I know I'm writing at the end of your poem but I must tell you this.
My Dad was born here in June of 1918, my father-in-law in Italy during the same month and year. They were both corporals in opposing armies. Now, two old soldiers buried in the same cemetery! I love your poem!
— wamblicante
Of course the dead can hear us, and I believe the pre-born can, too, while they are still spirits. They are only in another dimension, which probably exists all around us. Seeing us does not distract them, apparently, as seeing them would distract us, as much as if we could see ultra violet light, X-rays, hear sub and ultra sonic things. My opinion, based on much reading, thought, and prayer.
Imc
— Isabelle5
This poem is sad, and beautiful, and frame-able. I like the part with the father and the part with the sail-boat. I think you could find a better word than "dissapeared" in line 20, though. Other than that, great!
— Erowen
Thank you, I changed disappeared. I hope that change makes it better.
— Isabelle5
this is so sad, but its beautiful. You have absoultely captured the emotions of grieving to my account. it left me silent
— madderhatter
Thank you, all who commented. It's peaceful to believe that our spirits live on, that they come to visit without spying or judgement, only wishing to relieve our grief and anxiety in some small way and then go back to their new residence to await us.
— Isabelle5
I also wish that the person who gave this a 1 had left a comment to provide a background for that rating. I don't mind the 1, if it can be defended.
— Isabelle5
This gave me goosebumps. Beautiful.
— modestmuse
i really enjoyed this poem. I can relate to your mother and how someone can focus so much on trying not to burden their loved ones. Just always remember how much she cared for you to get through your hard times. Please keep writing!
— piracypatric
She isn't dead yet, just planning to be. Thank you for that thought.
— Isabelle5
Awwww...Isabelle...This touched me to a very deep degree. I got my kitty katt's ashes back in April and every night, I sleep with her tucked underneath my chin like she always did for the past 8 years. I'll never be over her. Beautiful poem. Very springlike feeling to it. All my love, Starr
— starr
This is really quite lovely and heartfelt. I don't know when or if your your mother died but this seems quite fresh. If it isn't it speaks well for your writing skills. I'd throw out a few extra words here and there and point out that a Viking funeral wouldn't give you a headstone either. But even without edits, this is a very emotionally satisfying piece of work. I feel I know your mother, at least a little and I like her. I personally believe that immortality lies in words and memories and faded photographs. hmmm I just noticed the date.
— mitchl
woah... those last 2 lines...
to be honest I like the first stanza the best, it is so lovely
a few parts such as L13, L20, I don't really care for. (just my personal taste)
But the last 2 line especially, are brilliant!
— sarahjoie
The lady is still living, thank the Lord. She would the type, though, to come back, just to prove a point! hahah (love you, Mom!)
— Isabelle5
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