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Cleaning
Aziel

Lemon Lysol mingled with morning breath
 1
as I walk in from the chilly morning,
 2
wondering how the sun spins in this foreign sky.
 3
 
 
"Yesterday was, today is, and tomorrow might be..."
 4
all the words you portray in a lullaby,
 5
a lullaby for me and me alone,
 6
come to me as I sit here on this civil day
 7
during the ways of others in a memory.
 8
My belly is heavy, and I can feel the blows
 9
from the inside out, calling...
 10
 
 
Popping week-old candy into my mouth,
 11
I realize why I'm sick.
 12

4 Nov 05

Rated 7.5 (9) by 2 users.
Active (2): 7
Inactive (2): 8, 10, 10

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YES.
This is lovely. It is coherent and tells a story. Possibly your best work.
Not possibly. Is.
 — claudia

10
 — graceinmtl

Pregnant?  "the blows from the inside out, calling.."  I like that!  (I remember that!)  

But if you're cleaning, how did the Lysol get mixed before you open the door?  Where have you been?
 — Isabelle5

And I don't understand "during the ways of others."  What does that mean and what is the civil day? Are you cleaning for company you have to entertain?
 — Isabelle5

I'm sorry I can't say that I know who you are by the way you write, but I find this lovely.

"Lemon Lysol mingled with morning breath/as I walk in from the chilly morning" reads as if it were a kiss with the in-door spouse.

Foreign sky is intriguing - I'm not sure if it is related to the inside belly-blows or the old candy.  Something foreign...mmm.
 — cynthmala

'...During the ways of others in a memory...' - The memory of other's actions.

'... on this civil day...' - A day where human beings are kind and caring.

I really appreciate your feedback!
 — Aziel
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