| haircuts are good for the soul
|
bear
| I went to | 1 |
get my haircut | 2 |
today. | 3 |
I sat down in | 4 |
the chair. | 5 |
The lady tried to | 6 |
move it | 7 |
but it was locked. | 8 |
She muttered "I | 9 |
hate when people | 10 |
lock these | 11 |
chairs." | 12 |
I apologized for | 13 |
this. | 14 |
She said, | 15 |
"It's ok, | 16 |
it's not your | 17 |
fault." | 18 |
And I felt better | 19 |
because it was | 20 |
not my fault. | 21 |
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8 Nov 05 |
Rated 8.3 (8.2) by 5 users.
Active (5): 4, 7, 7, 8, 10
Inactive (7): 7, 7, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(157 more poems by this author)
(5 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
humorous ;-)
— lonelygirl
cheers
— bear
Hee hee!
— Lulu
Haa Haa!
— bear
hoo hoo?
(trying to fit in ;-))
— lonelygirl
suggest: l9-l13 sub. the actually expression she said or you think she she say. i think this will make this piece very integhesting if you doso. cause l14 will come along and i would be like what are you talking about and i would be
nervous as the character in this poem as then at the end i would feel better becuase itls not my fault .... i'm just saying.
— crepaway
better, worse? the same?
— bear
i love the last three lines. i love them so much, i cannot express it.
i like you, too, i guess, since you wrote them, but my heart is for them only.
sorry.
— inutile
No, they are not, pooh-bear
— unknown
i also only like the last three lines, but i needed a way to get them onto paper.
unknown, haha, am i going to be known as pooh-bear from this day forward? its kind of funny. and you are also right, they are not good for your soul, i hate them.
— bear
:)
nice and simple poem.
'my hair cut' or 'a haircut' would be better... no?
— varun
thanks varun. you're right, that would be better. i'm terrible at naming my poems.
— bear
i never said the rest was bad, just that the ending was brilliant.
i myself like the phrase "she whispered furtive things, furtively" , but am still struggling with a way to put it to use. if you have any ideas please enlighten me.
— inutile
clever little poem. natural. charming. Holden Caulfieldish. A big 9 for you.
— unknown
Very drole.
— Meep
thanks unknown. holden caulfield is one of my favorite characters in literature. thanks for the 9!
meep, i'm not familiar with the term "drole"
— bear
awesome!
— emptyepitaph
blah. Prose, broken. Still not a poem, nor even with thought.
— alicedark
thanks empty!
i have to disagree alice, it is poetry.
— bear
LOL absolute classic which says more about the tide of human affairs than a whole history book
— larrylark
amusant, bizarre, drôle, tout chose, étrange, blague, drôlement, étrangement.
— Meep
thanks larry!
— bear
Love it. Don't even know why, I just do. Simple, effective, clever, funny, original.
x
— musicwords
thanks x!
— bear
L5 either make it a full stop and the next line a new sentence, or remove the full stop and add "and"
like i said before, i love the last three lines.
— inutile
thanks
— bear
I love the plain voice in which you write - it's natural, and almost whiney, but not -- thank goodness ^^ Your style is something which I admire, because I find it incredibly difficult to write the way you do. Kudos.
— wendz
thank you very much! i am glad it is not whiney. that would make me upset.
— bear
i agree with the theme of this poem. sometimes i feel repsonsible for things i didn't do. i always attribued this to the fact that i'm an only child. are you?
— freqe24
i do like this, i do! it's simple, natural. i keep trying to write like this but find it difficult, which seems odd because it doesn't appear to be all that complicated. easy to say, hard to do…i applaud you for a lovely job here!
— woman_power
this is gay you are a fag
— unknown
bear you are gay and you suck dick
— unknown
that was kind of mean.
— listen
whoever thatlast unknown was probably has a lot of experience at sucking dick and is justl ooking for a partner. But I digress...
If you are trying to make fun of pretentious poets with this piece - then I get it. If you are serious then I feel let down.
— unknown
i'm not an only child.
this is how i naturally write, just let yourself go.
i don't think i have ever tried to suck dick except for my own, does that make me gay?
and i think its funny that i said sorry jokingly and the lady said its not my fault seriously. and i thought: man thats great its not my fault... i'm glad she said that. of course with sarcasm.
— bear
i love this, it's really cute and satisfying (sp?). it makes me feel better. especially the last three lines. :) i like. i like a lot.
— missmurder
um, yea well you definately won the spirit award!
lol kidding its nice. 8
— SharpKnife
haha thank you very much.
— bear
heh heh heh
you locked it, didn't you? This is quite the funny poem.
— Isabelle5
A tad bit frivolous
— unknown
too bad this doesn't have the concision and layering of a good hairtcut. it's more like the hair balls left on the floor after.
which is to say, that it's a conversational blurb with funny line breaks. if you want me to do an edit on this let me know -- it wouldn't be any better, but it would read differently at least, and this is poetry critical laboratory and nails.
— joey
lightened up my day (am reading this in work), thanks!
— bleach
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