| evolution (nothing special to special...something)
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turtlepoet
| time changes everything
life to death and winter to spring
kind of funny how it changed her to you
and me from fifty cents to everything you want
| I knew him; | 1 |
he introduced me | 2 |
to his her. | 3 |
she introduced me | 4 |
to one of her her's; | 5 |
and she was mad. | 6 |
his her concluded, | 7 |
that a new her was my future. | 8 |
so she introduced me to her. | 9 |
I used to think, | 10 |
that I'd never find her... | 11 |
that one person, | 12 |
who would pull me through. | 13 |
like phoenix blood | 14 |
begins to pump from dust | 15 |
my soul had rebirthed | 16 |
itself gloriously | 17 |
heart began pumping | 18 |
warm fluid again | 19 |
she doesn't know it | 20 |
but she saved me | 21 |
I was done | 22 |
at my wits end | 23 |
tired of fifty cents | 24 |
and ready to end | 25 |
as nothing special... | 26 |
then her | 27 |
she changed | 28 |
my thought process | 29 |
in a matter of days | 30 |
so here I am | 31 |
new refreshed | 32 |
ready to grab the bull | 33 |
by the horns and grind | 34 |
it into submission | 35 |
that's me... | 36 |
special something | 37 |
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13 Nov 05 |
Rated 6.5 (6.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6, 7
Inactive (0):
(define the words in this poem)
(47 more poems by this author)
(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
Probably most people stop at L3 and shake there head then at L5 they say to themselves they are actually doing this on purpose, and by L7 they quit reading the poem. It is a contrivance that does not work, although I see that one person considers this poem a favorite (although they have not commented).
Many cliches such as grab the bull by the horns - wits end. Poem really needs your original words. His her her - like nails on a chalkboard. Good try though.
— unknown
i really liked the way you wrote this, especially how you said "hid her" and "one of her her's". i also like how this relates to your previous poem, it gives it more strength, in my opinion. i don't really have any suggestions for edits now. i might come back later.
— inutile
Promising but needs work
— larrylark
line 14- phoenix. the first few lines confused me for a little while, but then i got the hang of it. good job :)
— FrayedSkirt
L4 doesn't need comma
L6 doesn't need capital, and i think should end in full stop, but i'm not sure
before i go through the rest, could you work out where you need/want the capitals and punctuation, because it confuses me trying to work out if it is part of the same sentence and idea, or a new one. and then hopefully i'll be back sooner, and not forget about this again :)
— inutile
there ya go inutile
— turtlepoet
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