|four good words
while i was waking
your bath is ready
18 Nov 05
Rated 10 (8) by 1 users.
Inactive (3): 4, 8, 8, 10
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lovely, lovely, I might need to write this one on the bathroom mirror
which of these 12 words are the 4 good ones?
i think you could venture a guess.
oh right yeah, it's gotta be the last 4! nice try at a poem
thank you. i've read yours. sorry i haven't commented.
nice that you're giving [her] credit --->good<--- not very sentimental
nice this balances very well with whispered
at first read i read waking as walking because i have issues.
do you need the that. it can be read without? said and whispered also introduce conflicting tones possibly?
it's really nice to have someone run a bath for you.
Yep, that's an improvement, but it's poor stuff. 'four good letters' and just a blank poem would have been ever so much better.
the best kind of poems are ones like this: short.
it says a lot. good job.
beautiful. hello hank.
oh yes. i remember now.
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