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underestimated value

a neglected shirt or anything
for that matter a
lonely denim rag
maybe has holes
pockets are portals for things
thought long lost

4 Jan 06

Rated 7 (7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 7, 7

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i like the title. the a at the end of line two should be on line 3
 — documentlove

very real.
 — Meep

Wow, if you just kept lines 5-6, it would work as a tiny poem with meaning.

I love the idea of pockets as portals.
 — Isabelle5

I agree with Isabelle on this one the last 2 lines are great. And if left them alone would be a ncie short poem, or it can be expanded on. I am not sure the first part flows so well into the last 2 lines. The last lines are open and almost opptimistic, while the first shows wear and tear. Not sure how to put it but I hope you know waht I mean.
 — Scud

is great as is, but could be excellent with punctuation. comma after "shirt" and "matter". a semi-colon after "rag". a full stop after "holes". this is very nicely done!
 — emptyepitaph

nice read. punctuation would help, i agree with empty.
 — gears

thanks for the comments. it remains.
 — hank

great poem, but needs to be punctuated. otherwise, terrific.
 — adiscodancer

What did you find ?
 — sir_I_clan

a shame you placed it in the fire .
 — unknown