a neglected shirt or anything
for that matter a
lonely denim rag
maybe has holes
pockets are portals for things
thought long lost
4 Jan 06
Rated 7 (7) by 1 users.
Inactive (1): 7, 7
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i like the title. the a at the end of line two should be on line 3
Wow, if you just kept lines 5-6, it would work as a tiny poem with meaning.
I love the idea of pockets as portals.
I agree with Isabelle on this one the last 2 lines are great. And if left them alone would be a ncie short poem, or it can be expanded on. I am not sure the first part flows so well into the last 2 lines. The last lines are open and almost opptimistic, while the first shows wear and tear. Not sure how to put it but I hope you know waht I mean.
is great as is, but could be excellent with punctuation. comma after "shirt" and "matter". a semi-colon after "rag". a full stop after "holes". this is very nicely done!
nice read. punctuation would help, i agree with empty.
thanks for the comments. it remains.
great poem, but needs to be punctuated. otherwise, terrific.
What did you find ?
a shame you placed it in the fire .
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