poetry critical

online poetry workshop

another time

sure it was rusty like i
so upon a dare
drove it through my foot

17 Jan 06

Rated 6 (7.5) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (1): 6, 9

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you must be the love child of inch high private eye and inspector gadget to drive through your own foot in a rusty car.

unless you're talking about a nail.

have you ever walked on a bed of nails?

oh yeah. nice poem. title is a bit wishy washy.
working better with the companion poem before it
than if it was ever to be read alone.
 — kaleidazcope

dunno if this is actually connected to pine. and if it is, then if they know...
 — unknown

it is connected to pine.
did you get your injections after?
 — unknown

Its about being dared to run on first ,
Hanks always first or last .
 — unknown

cleared for the masses.
 — hank

combine the two into a haibun.
that would work.

ps. if not i prefer the wishy washy title.
 — kaleidazcope

and i preferred the 7|5|5
 — kaleidazcope

haiku, mnh!
 — unknown

you're a pain in tha arse. but i like it better in its original as well. title isn't wishy washy its interpretable. thanks.
 — hank

no it's not wishy washy. yes i am a pain in the arse.
 — kaleidazcope

Can you either put (like I) or get rid of it?  How about putting I after dare?  It would become much clearer.

What does the title have to do with the poem?
 — Isabelle5

Anyway, why would you do such a thing and why should we care?
 — unknown

being dared to run on first...
whass that mean?
 — unknown

you're on the street man. start digging to scene.
 — unknown