poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Personal Split

"I was on
my way to work,
selling ladies underwear
30K plus perks."
"He slid outside
smoother than a snake."
"Who did?"
"I did.
Like i had escaped.
Waved at myself,
myself waved back,
then i turned away,
belting up my mac.
Next day at work,
felt incomplete.
Like somewhere
along the line
my heart had
missed a beat.
Now I'm out there
playing all the halls.
Memorial and all.
all on a grand
a tiny touch
of Gershwin
in the grand
modern manner.
Give me back the key,
be it C or B Major,
my face is posted
like I'm an old stager.
Can't do my job
cus my fingers
won't keep still.
I need a quick remedy
its making me feel ill."
The doctor stood up,
rushed to the door.
Said "You're on
in fifteen minutes
and i've got the last four.
One for myself,
three for my other parts.
and Rene Descartes."

28 Jan 06

(define the words in this poem)
(737 more poems by this author)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


self explanatory crap
 — unknown

can your better half play Welcome to the Jungle? that is art
 — TheO1dCrow

Dera Unknown

It has to be so that twats like you can get it

Larry fuck off Lark
 — unknown

ditto first unknown
 — unknown


Why don't you ask her yourself instead of bombarding me with your dam fool question.

Larry shut the fuck up Lark
 — unknown

Dear Unknown
There appears to be a strong feeling of mutaulity between us .

Larry shut the fuck upLark
 — unknown

I love the humor in this it's great.
 — Opinion

Doctor, doctor
gimme the news
I got a bad case
of lovin you

who wrote that Larry the Lipster Darkstar?
 — unknown

It's just such a good take on a doctor's office trip, with some originality blend in nicely. Fresh takes.
 — Opinion

Dear Opinion

Thank you. At last someone who understands

Larry don't shut the fuck up Lark
 — larrylark

Dear Unknown

The name escapes me for a moment but i semm to recollect that it was a 60's hit for?Maybe you can enlighten me

Larry Popster Lark
 — larrylark

nice nice i think i get what your geting at
 — unknown

The unknowns really would have more power if they weren't unknown any longer. If we were to no longer comment on any unknown poetry or rate them, then I think eventually they'd come out from hiding. I thought it was cool Larry Lark. It would make a cool rap...I don't listen to wrap, but this is much more poetic than most rap is...Is Joanna a brand of piano? If not...in line 31...Piano may fit better. I liked it...well done. This I think is the first poem of yours I've commented on.
 — MrChris

i dont get it
 — unknown

Dear Unknown,

and i can't be bothered explaining

Larry beyond words Lark
 — larrylark