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Beware of the "midwinter spring"
sparrow

I
 1
 
 
there we were and it was
 2
just as it is on a midwinter's day,
 3
when the sun breaks through
 4
thick layers of grey and dust
 5
dances in rays of yellow light.
 6
 
 
then- the air smells as the bright green buds
 7
of springtime do, life
 8
breaks through the dark brown soil
 9
and patches of broken white.
 10
 
 
there we were- there in that moment,
 11
isolated in time and yet
 12
most beautifully detached from time.
 13
 
 
drifting away, drowning
 14
in the sweet illusion of eternity
 15
 
 
II
 16
 
 
sun-bathed in golden light
 17
and dancing in the wind
 18
with the yellows and reds and browns
 19
of next autumn's leaves
 20
drunk of the numbing scent
 21
of next summer's cherry trees
 22
-our lips stained with their red juices.
 23
 
 
III
 24
 
 
Stop- I called,
 25
We cannot let the anchors fall
 26
drown in the light of the "midwinter spring"
 27
let ourselves drop down - fall
 28
into icy waters - the first warm ray
 29
tickles the skin, tempts us to drift away;
 30
   into moonlit labyrinths - the air
 31
   is heavily weighed down by jasmine blossoms,
 32
   barefoot memories - a long gone summer
 33
   spent under star-speckled skies with the earth
 34
   warming our bodies.
 35
 
 
IV
 36
 
 
Beware of the "midwinter spring"
 37
though the ice is but thin, we cannot know what the rest of winter will bring.
 38
Just remember;
 39
   the morning bird's song has never failed
 40
   to sing the northern winds away
 41
   in patience was kept on a midwinter's day
 42
   bathed in yellow sunlight
 43
   there, in that place it grew ripe
 44
And you-
 45
   You mustn't forget the winter, for spring
 46
   has not yet returned, though so it may seem.
 47
 
 
Do not forget the taste of cherries ripe
 48
and red, green leaves - rustling
 49
in the summer's sun-ripened breeze
 50
still - remember; now
 51
the cherry tree's bare branches wait
 52
to dance with the wind in their gown of buds and blossoms
 53
waiting still, for a moment in "midwinter spring"
 54
is much like a kiss on a playwright's stage
 55
between actors - gone
 56
before its taste dared linger on
 57
your lips and its touch
 58
strum the strings of your seasoned heart.
 59

2 Feb 06

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Comments:

Its Eliot who writes of the midwinter spring, no?  Do you know which poem?

I ask because while the homage is nice, the quotation marks might actually be unnecessary if you aren't specifically making reference to something in Eliot's poem.

But I really like this piece.
 — root

thanks for your comment root!

nice spotting that it's from Elliot! It was in Four Quartets, Little Gidding (right at the beginning) where he uses the phrase...I have to think if the quotation marks are necessary or not. I set them in the first place mainly because it was his words which inspired me.
 — sparrow

I think that reading the passage on midwinter spring by Elliot would give the reader a deeper understanding of the topic
 — sparrow

hi everybody!
I've been thinking about making some minor changes here and wanted to know what you think:
1. I was thinking of turning "midwinter's spring" into "midwinter spring"
2. I'm wondering if I should split line 38 into two lines (after the comma)

looking forward to your opinion!
 — sparrow

Pretty.
 — Isabelle5

Surely beware the midwinter spring
although now, the ice is thin.
We cannot know what winter brings
 — SolCarloman

+ oh but you remember
 — SolCarloman

Right now all I feel is a mass of repetition that  bores me.

bathes/bathing, yellow/yellow, cherycherrycherries, redredred,
ripe/ripe/sun-ripened, drift/drifting, drowning/drowns, dance/dancing...

I think this poem is an overkill of nature's metaphors.  
Your words are lovely but this could surely be condensed.
Sorry!
I'll try another,
Jen-
 — jenakajoffer

Thanks for your comment jen!
I must say that I agree that this poem really needs so be condensed. I wrote it about a year ago and think I've learned alot about carefully placing words since then. I'll see how I can become friends with this poem again and change it a bit perhaps.
 — sparrow

hi sparrow,
i know what you mean about making friends again...
thanks for accepting my honesty,
Jen-
 — jenakajoffer

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