poetry critical

online poetry workshop



first sense
hank

your pulse
 1
my metronome
 2

2 Feb 06

Rated 8 (8.1) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6, 10
Inactive (16): 1, 1, 4, 6, 8, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(439 more poems by this author)

(7 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

in tune. i'm in tune. i'm in tune with you. we're in tune. [?]
nice poem.
hello hank.
a century crossed.

-varun-
 — unknown

lovely couplet
 — unknown

too cewebwal -- woger adultwee:  gettin in tune wid you, i'm in tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune

with you
and we gonna get in tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune

out here in da fields
are alive

teenage baste land

oh oh oh

its only teenage basteland
 — unknown

this could be interpreted in a zillion different ways...everything from sweet to dramatic to fatal and tyrannic...
interesting idea!
 — sparrow

mother.
that's it.
the beginning of life...

-varun-
 — unknown

forgot about the damn title...
 — unknown

this is hopelessly perfect.
timeless.
it's one of those poems you couldn't believe hadn't always existed.

kaleidazcope
 — unknown

I love it, but it might be better if both lines had the same number of syllables.  Just a suggestion.
 — fallinforyou

funny how just a few words.
 — hank

my 100th? or 1?
 — hank

crossed.
it's simply funny how words.
 — unknown

not sure i understand the last comment.
 — hank

I would like it the other way, too.  But I think I'd change the title to "In Tune."  but it's not really about tune, so ignore me.
 — Isabelle5

i love your poem
 — bettalpha

crossed a hundred. poems... ...  ......
funny how some words can mean so many different things.
it's just funny how words mean. that's all.
 — unknown

what's with hank? Is his IQ over 160? He's the first genius poet in Western history.
 — unknown

That's deep
 — winter

i like it, despite it's lack of length.
it's got power.
 — shakeit

well then, you've shown me up with this couplet.
 — minusthesky

so few words
hold such power.

i truely enjoied this.

thank you.
 — colormetink

heart stopping!!
 — Meep

wow...
ya'll must've had that sucker
cranked all the way to th' bottom
didja?
i think you wrote this inside 1
of them staccatto beats...
hehe
 — chuckles

yeah, wrote it during one of them staccato beats.
 — hank

this is the finest poem ever posted to pc.
 — hank

i just wanted you to know that i read this and it had stuck with me forever, and i could never remember where it was from.

it's tattooed on the inside of my right arm now. i hope you don't mind.
 — shakeit

^ wow , i was going to point this out to varun ( its about the beautiful Spanish lady ) .
   Shakeit could you post a picture of it ?.
 — sir_I_clan

thanks for bringing it into view, clan sir.

hank's a superstar.
 — varun

i second that wow
your neat little poem
is now
body art

kudos!
 — chuckle_s

http://swift-kick.deviantart.com/art/yourpulsetattoo-747613 38


that's not the best photo of it. i designed it myself,andi knew the quote wasn't mine but i couldn't remember for the life of me what it was from. (upon some research, i found it here, so now i know who to credit for the wonderful words.)


it's only a few days old, but it gets a ton of compliments.
 — shakeit

cannot get to that page you posted a link for, mate... try again? maybe in the forums...
 — unknown

yes. the website now autobreaks all links, in the comments sections of the poems.
 — unknown

well it's swift-kick at deviantart dot com, and in the gallery it's the one titled 'yourpulsetattoo'

so, i'll do that instead of linking it.
 — shakeit

shakeit , i can't find your tattoo at all , can you post a link to it on the message board ??
 — sir_I_clan

i'm not so fond of tattoos
but this piece rocks!

10-faved finally.
: )
 — fractalcore

perfect
 — unknown

.. yes but i bet the words aren't real..

-- Leaf Rainbow
 — unknown

well,it's on her skin.
 — unknown

yeah, i remember this.

; )
 — fractalcore

makes sense.
; )
 — fractalcore

lovely. love it when old stuff pops up. 06. i was here!! thanks
 — unknown

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 — unknown

apparently i hated this in 06 and now i quite love it. go figure!! thanks
 — unknown

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