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First Love, Fatal Love
DeathShards

Clouds bled broken tears,
 1
from the grey sky black sorrow reigned,
 2
staining the solitary soul.
 3
 
 
Shards of shattered love
 4
rent the faithful heart.
 5
Now distressing memories
 6
pierce the impassive mind.
 7
 
 
Bruised and bloody, the soul
 8
-once the brazen Sun-
 9
now a limping ruin of spite and malice.
 10
 
 
Under the dark blue blanket
 11
alight with shining silver sequens
 12
sleeps the restless child,
 13
weeps the silent soul.
 14

10 Feb 06

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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 — unknown

Yeah, I know it's cliche.
 — DeathShards

I like it. It's well written and uses good imagery. The subject may be cliche but the poem itself isn't.
The last stanza is fantastic (9)
 — marieF

Thank you heaps but any suggestions on how to improve it?
 — DeathShards

thats was really nice poem, thanx u save my life!!!!!
 — unknown

Uh huh. Well glad I saved your life. O.o...
 — unknown

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