poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Philosophies in Dreamscape

A butterfly may flap and does
—or doesn't insect butter fly?
We've never seen real butter fly
yet all have seen a butter stick
unstick a cast iron frying pan.
A flying buttered cast iron pan
slipped out the window   Flap
and Flip  it fluttered round
whilst the man Carpe Diem
dreamed of hot pancakes and ham
—for children starved in Karmadam—
a flying buttered cast iron pan
slipped in their window   Flap
and Flip  it fluttered round
until alas Carpe Diem
awoke and fed nothing to them.

12 Feb 06

Rated 1 (7.1) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (15): 1, 1, 3, 4, 6, 6, 7, 7, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)

(3 users consider this poem a favorite)

Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha


your poems make me feel stupid.
 — unknown

I am not bright (118)
I am merely old (51)
Life is a teacher, makes us seem wiser.
In a sense, we do get smarter just by living
and thinking about things we have not done well in the past.
thanks for your kind commment but you are not stupid
nor should you put yourself down.   If I knew your name I'd
elevate you in a personal poem gift just for you.
 — netskyIam

my name is Morchuis
 — unknown

Very good poem.
 — unknown

"your poems make me feel stupid"

Your grace allows life.  I'll return your gift.

"your poems make me feel"

Your reading proves wisdom
is gained by the reading
of words (such as yours).

"your poems make"

Such observation, cut to the quick,
proves that you, also,
create more than zip.
 — netskyIam




this floats my boat.

i liketheham
 — unknown

Line 3/4: A little weak, but I love the context.

" 'round" (8): Don't be afraid of the letter "a".  It will love you if you love it back.

Line 11 - 16: Hm.  Wow.
 — mouse

i love your poem.
i love your title.
 — bettalpha

mousie: I tink your're right about that "'round".  I've made it around and put " =A= while" on the next line .   A fine help. Sounds better.  Here, cheese, smile, hugs, reid.
 — netskyIam

revised title and some wordings and the strophe spacings
 — netskyIam

since you deleted "a while" (i never read it with, but i'm going from your comment), you could change "round" to "around" now.
 — unknown

Thinking of publishing.  Is it OK now? (fresh and perhaps final retouches)
thanks poet-peers,  reid
 — netskyIam

This is my fav (so far) of all your poems reid. Well written, did you publish it?
 — Thea

No nits here.  Beautiful is overused...sorry.
 — housepoppy

On closer read--cause I loves it so:

while a man, Carpe Diem,

I think would stand better on its own.
 — housepoppy

o my goodness. I refloated this last night because I had published it to
ht tp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpe_diem#Use_in_Poetry
and I thought to ask you all for a reassessment.  

Thanks very much
from this monkey very busy at its typewriter
(eventually something intelligible results, heh).

-so, thanks thanks thanks

(btw, Wikiepedia is for everybody)
 — netskyIam

I'm reminded here of Peter Piper picking pecks of pickled peppers in Ogden Nash's Private Dining Room with Miss Rafferty wearing taffeta and Miss Cavendish wearing lavendar and breaking the candleabra...strangely, those made more sense to me than this poem.
 — unknown

i get whimsy with irony, seize the day indeed ya can't seize anything if one's too hung up on the need to eat pancakes. i'll try and seize the moment's reflection that this fine poem created
 — wantsaname

very clever... well done. i enjoyed it. such a wonderful title!!!!
 — topop

Stay away from the pot. This is okay but lacks experientialness. Is that a word?
 — unknown

not a word
and the crit is a puzzler as well.  
 — netskyIam

How great! Reminds me of Alice in Wonderland...I think Alice questioned butter and flys...as well as horseflys (horses and flys). Great poem. A lot of fun. Waht is carpe diem though? I know the phrase, but how does it fit here?
 — FrChris

FrChris, I apologize for not responding to your question of probably long ago.
carpe diem is a catchphrase associated with Epicure's philosophy.  
It means literally, to sieze or catch the moment; the day.

Raised for bettalpha
 — netskyIam

i love this poem
thank you nets

i wonder how i missed it
as it's still in my favourites too

 — unknown

I forgot to thank you
for keeping my spirit alive.
 — netskyIam

Stars are always high and let you look it up. But if you can shine you can become star. And the light comes from replica designer handbags because everyone can have it. 2012 Miu Miu brand offer new models which look more maturate and beautiful. Cheap replica designer handbags attracted the attention of many female friends, to meet their pursuit of luxury for them, while also saving a lot of expenses.
http://www.copyluxury.biz< br /> http://www.replicaha ndbags-uk.co.uk
http://www.replicawatches.c o
http://www.tagheuerwatche s.biz
 — hehandbags