How can you grow to loath a hoover
in its old age?At that stage it should
be lovingly mended to tenderly caress
lino,carpet or rug.Mine is a snarling
bad tempered swine of a bag of dust,
with a vaccum for a brain.It fumes gloomily,
with rusting parts, chugging engine
and other noises too ghastly to mention.
Glowing red,it smokily shrouds
the living room,moaning in that drone
of a voice"Won't pick up till you've lubed
my tubes,polished my plug." If I don't,
it flushes its contents over my
Incredible Hulk slippers,
cuts out and sulks,leaving me
toiling with shovel and brush.
1 Mar 06
Rated 8.5 (8.3) by 2 users.
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i wish i had a cleaner. someone said they cost 5 quid an hour. but i dunno how i would go about finding one. i want one very badly though.
i hate hoovering. my fred is still spitting pine needles from xmas 2003. the other day he coughed up a fully formed ten year old the previous occupants of my house misplaced as a baby in 1995. no way no how to get the lil cuckoo back in it's bag. so i've left her upside down in the umbrella stand for a rainy day.
yep. i'd say fred sucked but he doesn't. he spits.
hurray! i love your poem! enjoyed all your word choices. i never saw a hoovers ribcage before.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Your Hoover is my WindTunnel clone! It won't do kitty litter but it will suck the sheet right off your bed, given a centimeter of cloth in it's way!
Oh, this is funny!-
Veddy NOT funny
Gupta in LA
Very witty indeed - I like the personification.
Never want anything really badly ,then it will simply come to you.
neither have i except down the Hoover repair shop when one fell out of a split bag of dust.
Larry cleanliness is next to godliness Lark
I know exactly where you are coming from.I'm sure they get annoyed quicker than washing machines.
Larry domestique Lark
Ace of a poem!
your vacuum reminds me of an old bull, a tender bullfighter in a cheering crowd of houshold item s.
You have lifted my somewhat flat end of winter spirit.
sweet title right of the bat. your poems just make me feel so lost, serenity.
swell that's what your good at.
Dear larry, I hate to be anal, as I love yr work , but it's 'Maneuvers' ...
Happy belated birthday, by the way!!
Thanks for the belated birthday greetings. I think you will find in the dickshunary that mine is the correct spellin.
Larry spell check Lark