|Broken Social Scene Birthed a Stillborn
|after "Looks just like the sun"|
The stars look just like the son
I yearn to hold, a silver outline
my finger has trouble tracing at dusk.
Late at night, the clouds muffle his babbles
and the sky stretches over him
like an ashen sheet that smells of balm and sulfur.
If I steady my hand, I can count each glinting toe,
watch his kicks shifting Orion out of place,
hear his paused sighs in the wind
as he nurses off the moon’s porcelain teat
but my hand only trembles,
my finger pointing to the earth.
2 Mar 06
Rated 9 (9.3) by 4 users.
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Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful..
I loved this. Thanks.
My throat tightening and I felt the tingle of tears. If true, so very sorry for the loss.
No tears please! A song inspired a mood which created this . . . thank you for reading the piece Cervus & Isa!
the last two lines might work nicely as a separate sentence, with maybe a space between them and the rest of the poem.
this is beautiful, something this pretty cannot make me feel and sadness. thankyou
thank you inu!
i haven't heard the song 'looks just like the sun'
but the words were really emotional. it held my attention through led zeppelin in the background.
*adds to favorites*
and thanks for commenting on my poem :)
monarch, I was more than happy to make comments your poems, thank you for taking the time to read mine.
btw the song is from this obscure Toronto band called Broken Social Scene, hence the title . . .
Broken Social Scene are criminally under-rated. A great band.
Congratulations on a well-crafted little poem.
as i read this poem, i am listening to anthems for a seventeen year old girl.
this poem evokes a great mood that i think is seen in a lot of their music, or at least the way it makes me feel.
i want to sign in properly later so i can rate this nicely.
wow, it's rare to come across a BSS fan, not a lot people know about them or their music. I recently saw them live in this small venue up in Fort Lauderdale and they blew me away. anyway, my intention was to capture a mood and I'm glad to know it worked for you, thanks for your comment unknown. ;-)
music, thank you also for reading my piece and kind words
i want to make a baby with u and give u your son
broken social scene is an awesome band
My Feet Smell Like Cheese.
Pass the salt Please.
I take a bite
HE HE!! I MADE A POEM!! YAYAYAYAY!!!!
A good write. No suggesstions here. i got a lump in my throat reading this.
It made me almost cry...
excellent picture painted