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pompeii
hank

entered through arch above stone wall
 1
built upon boot climbed grassy hill
 2
echoing oval opened sunlit beneath
 3
herculaneum ghosts walked colonnade
 4
 
 
mirrored celluloid waving furiously
 5
signifying games beginning?
 6
stately descent and clandestine escape
 7
cut off by modern barriers
 8
 
 
elbow enclosure hit hard chest dust theatre
 9
 
 
now i have been the first to rise
 10
up from that pagan floor since 79 alive
 11
and amid the hailing ashes
 12
receive you as my prize
 13

3 Mar 06

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entering through arch above stone wall
built upon boot climbed grassy hill
echoing oval opened cavernous sinue
herculaneum ghosts walked collonade

You have no rythm yet, this is just an alternative, an opinion. Perhaps you need to decide what kind of movement you want
 — SolCarloman

cavernous sinue?
 — hank

i hear rhythm. my ears are for rent. rent my ears. i need to buy cake.

kicks herself off the computer and into a taxi.

noice poime hoink.
 — bettalpha

thanks betta. business must be good to afford those taxis. thought you were a bus girl?
 — hank

bizniss is roaring. it just wrote all across my face in red ink. "no time for buses"

i wrote back in green ink on its fat tush "that's no way to write on a thousandaire's face you fat-tushed red-inking funking-curter"

phurp. am stressed. an nuttering.
gotta go deserve my thousandaire tag now.
 — bettalpha

Can I suggest - line 4 - 'Herculaneum's ghosts collonaded walked by'
 — unknown

Correction: colonnaded (unless a US spelling?)
 — unknown

unknown, thanks.
 — hank

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