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wanting space or wishing to be told
starryme

he liked her since that day
 1
when the other guy
 2
asked her first
 3
 
 
it was a tender topic
 4
among touch and go friends
 5
a tragic lovetail
 6
of affection gone unattended
 7
leaving one
 8
silently offended
 9
unmended
 10
 
 
she, oblivious, called him
 11
her best friend
 12
      good pal
 13
      close companion
 14
dragging him with her
 15
at every chance
 16
to photobooths
 17
plastering her desk
 18
with little 5-by-8
 19
half-truth moments
 20
 
 
he brought her away one night
 21
long standing issues gone
 22
unaddressed
 23
ignored
 24
yet present they were
 25
yet lingering they stood
 26
if only to him
 27
 
 
sitting behind the wheel
 28
she played with radio dials
 29
and foggy windows
 30
and he, her passenger
 31
in so many ways
 32
played with the
 33
words in his head
 34
and sat wondering
 35
 
 
"perhaps i tell her shes lovely
 36
why not explain
 37
how the light hits only her eyes
 38
with the right ammount of elegance and
 39
beauty, is the best word to describe her
 40
character is shining above the
 41
rest in the fact that 'i
 42
care for you'."
 43
 
 
instead, he said he wanted some space
 44
wishing to say he wanted just her
 45
and she drove, wishing to be told
 46

14 Aug 03

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Comments:

Wonderful.
 — Isabelle5

somehow this made me want to cry. . . its really good
 — treerain

Having just read in the message board that we should expand our comments, I would like to say that this reminded me of movies, etc. where you know that the main characters are feeling a lot but they don't tell each other. It makes you want to jump in and smack them for having those fears, especially when the person is their supposed best friend they can tell anything to. The way you created the man's love for the woman was gentle and deep and there was no way to know until the end that the woman was hoping, too. The imagery was interesting and I especially like the "little 5x8 half truth moments." Inspired.
 — Isabelle5

This read well though I believe that more punctuation would help establish better rythmn
 — boothben

have i told you how much i adore you?
 — yrrockstar
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