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tyler
hank

have dreams come to promenade for you
 1
haberdashery of auguries pleading
 2
have seeds inserted by a thumb
 3
cracked the spine on the book of leading
 4
has the din of voices endless needing
 5
become the same in every language?
 6
 
 
it has loomed this way since i began
 7
and now the light to you comes bleating
 8

12 Mar 06

Rated 5 (7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 5, 6, 10

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Comments:

has the din of voices endless kneeding - never more.
 — Meep

phew.

will phew do? probably not. damn.

any reference to blake?
i mean am i blind or am i reading fury?
cheating|cracked|din|bleating

i have no idea about the meaning of the content straight off
but the emotion is palpable
more than palpable. it leapt off the screen
[i typed scream instead of screen before editing]
that palpable.

i know a tyler.
 — kaleidazcope

oh.
 — kaleidazcope

i haven't scored, yet. logged out. then in.
 — kaleidazcope

tyler fenn



james blunt
 — unknown

phew is good. but as gnormal has eloquently said, good, repeated five times reveals its true nature- boring.

not sure about the 'james blunt' comment. not sure how my surname came up.
 — hank

oh, yes, blake. initially dedicated to blake and kundera.
 — hank

took it out because italics didn't look good with poem.
 — hank

You can get a lot of good ideas looking at a wallnut can you not?
 — Meep

do you mean 'can you nut?'
 — hank

no.
 — Meep

huh
 — hank

well thats really something.

l2 sticks out as the only surreal line.  as the only one, it feels out of place.  the poem is more approachable without it.

i dont think you knead to modiy the spelling of kneading.  "endless needing" rings clear.

the shift from talking to the reader, to suddenly addressing yourself ("i") has a very nice drama.  i naturally read a pregnant pause into it, and of course the timing is perfect because im the one timing it right.  but it only works so well because you set it all up.

i twice read loomed.

i understand that the you in the first stanza is not the you l8.  but i dont know if i understand correctly.  i realize it's a completely diffent sentence, but what if the bleedin light comes FROM you?

i darent go into interpretation.   but it sure reads nicely.  i like how the bleating voices and the din of light echo each other.
 — gnormal

i have a crush on a boy named tyler in my class
 — unknown

I like the poem, but I don't get it...my interpretation is lost.
 — unknown

i cant believe you isolated 'loomed'.
will think about spelling of 'kneading'.
 — hank

on my scratchsheet, loomed was 'loomed'. changed to 'bloomed' upon rereading.
amazed that you read twice loomed.
fucking hell.
 — hank

This is obviously several cuts above. Those who don't get it, meh on you.
 — unknown

i hate the title

but this poem is up there

way up there

with the tulips

sadi stick
 — unknown

i don't know where i got screaming fury from.
must have been a roll on from whatever i commented on before.
or maybe i was boxed.
you were sweet to ignore it. blush.

and ooh. pat on the back for me. for getting blake.
i NEVER get references EVER

the edits make all the difference.
all the difference. really.
lovely cadence.
[it's my catchphrase today]

you have inspired me to rhyme.

kaleidazcope
 — unknown

happy birthday, baby boy.
 — unknown

Like Hank "tyler fenn" or completely unrelated?  >>Hank is HOT<<
 — aforbing

I LOVE TYLER SNYDER
 — unknown

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