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a philosophy professor's closing arguments regarding mind body duality
unknown

he would
 1
howl obsessions as he
 2
lubricated the contours of each of her ribs
 3
 
 
she would
 4
straddle his adolescence and
 5
cackle at the convolutions of her philosophy
 6
 
 
 
 
her body owned him
 7
 
 
 
 
and when she concluded that
 8
she got off on his getting off on her
 9
she knew her love
 10
for him would be fool proof
 11
against any erudite argument
 12

  


© A

12 Mar 06

Rated 9.7 (7.9) by 3 users.
Active (3): 9, 10, 10
Inactive (16): 1, 2, 2, 3, 6, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(13 users consider this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

Too good.
 — unknown

i'm surprised i like this

but i do

i love it

its really quite perfect

thanks


sadi
 — unknown

nearly perfect.  retouch when you can. I won't suggest more.
reid
 — netskyIam

It was better before.
 — unknown

I like this poem a lot, but the line breaks in the 1st & 2nd stanza jerks the rhythm of the piece, here's some suggestions you may want to consider:

he would howl
obessions as he lubricated
the contours of each of her ribs

she would straddle
his adolescence and cackle
at the convolutions of her philosophy

;-)
 — redsky

adolescence? Isn't he a professor? Nope. No way. No matter how hot she makes him, he'll never have an adolescent boner again. Trust me on it.
 — unknown

Sweet poem!!
 — kimado

wow. ur simply the best. line 3 is gettin me hot!! anyone got some KY? lucky for u i like it.
 — unknown

female prof male student.  


mary k le tourneau
 — unknown

smacks head! I'm getting old.
 — unknown

the revenge of LOLITA
 — unknown

anne bancroft and dustin hoffman?
 — unknown

I like this a lot, I can't really think of anything constructive to say, but if I do I'll come back.
 — fallinforyou

I really liked this, I have to say through the first stanza I was thinking this would be very predictible, but it so wasnt. I love this, its clean to the point and engaging at the same time. Nice work.
 — madderhatter

is this a true story? can i attend your class?


old crow's daddy
 — unknown

            ; 

      sharp.!
 — unknown

hahahahahaha... bloody brilliant
 — gingerdave

thanks GD.

GVD
 — unknown

how is this remotely brilliant?

the metaphors are contrived and trite. the content less than that of postmodernism.
 — username

i think it's shit.

authors grandmother
 — unknown

In my humble opinion?  Very good.  I likey :)
 — CervusWright

cute!
 — unknown

i second mad hatters comments. Crisp and poignant. And unexpected.
 — unknown

close your legs and mouth next time prof ho.
 — unknown

reminds me of the graduate meets mary k le tourneau
 — unknown

vraiment, tres bon.
 — unknown

I don't know if I like 'her body owned him.'

Seems too tell in this piece of showing.

Anyway, otherwise it's pretty nice.

Thanks for the read.

-ramher
 — ramenherpes

To me, lines 1-6 are platinum.

If line 7 is to be a turning point, wouldn't it add (at least aesthetic) interest if more balanced?
    
concluding that
she got off on (his)--him is not proper in this context and his works better.
getting off on her she knew

her (use) --to avoid the dreaded love--don't see love here anyway.  
(of) him would be fool-
proof against any erudite argument  

I really like this.
 — housepoppy

Almost forgot: I don't think you need "any" in  L12.
 — housepoppy

changed him to his - thanks pops
 — viscera

and yes there is no  unconditional love here if that is one's definition.
 — unknown

        nice visc.!
 — unknown

gay
 — unknown

is it time to register yet?
 — unknown

love it
 — unknown

wicked
 — lyom

heehaah
 — unknown

whats the big deal?
 — unknown

excellent, a doze of truth, a doze of mind games, a doze of sex (or is it just me), and a whole lot of good writing.

this makes me to think of so many things, having just come from a seminar in post-structural theatre ... someone ought to write a play about this (though I am sure it has been done).

the first stanza - what a slippery ride, must have been ...

howl - straddle
obsessions - adolescence
libricated - cackle/convulsions

Maybe it is just me, but I like the play of these words in the first two stanzas, parallel narratives done very well.

her body owned him - I am almost prone to suggest get the pronouns out, have verbs, nouns, but no ownership, does it make sense or am I in a minimalist mood today?

excellent argument, not that it is important for the purposes of the critique, but I can relate to that.  

Thank you
Maria
 — slancho

nothing like a good fuq to bring materiality to the vagabond medulla
 — unknown

I like how real the hyperbole sounds.
 — Meep

or do I mean simile?
 — Meep

thankyou
 — unknown

love that last line! captures it all
 — unknown

thanks
 — unknown

hahahah
 — unknown

rockin
 — unknown

lol
 — unknown

woot!
 — unknown

wootwoot
 — unknown

awesome
 — unknown

this is good. <3 i ten'd it.
 — OKcomputer

found it on random.
 — OKcomputer

this poem had detractors, which is a good thing. that means to some extent they with they wrote it first.

i knida hoped it could be more explicit, bu i'm glad it wasn't.

something is irkifying about line 11 though. i think it's "fool proof"
but line 12 is brilliant, and couldn't exist without 11.

i will implode
 — onklcrispy

you Know why you shouldn't tie your dog next to the Coop door. be neat if this looked as a poem like a poem, especially since the title points at possibilities of imitation -- so many french lyrics and ditties about the subject. like, a cartoon, but maybe it could be a more sophisticated cartoon -- like, encore, encore, le fin du temps. or maybe, "there's a saying goes, says that love is blind. still, we're often told, "seek and ye shall find." which, if you think on it in multidimensional space, is the knitting of mind body as a cosmic pun. all linears are linear except when they're poetry.
 — joey

Duality realized! Nice job.
 — poetbill

not to mention those quads and abs. this is meat poetry for vegetarians, and that's like, strained soy or something -- you can see all the words trying to sprout into a real poem and not getting the chance cause they're going to be a fake hot dog in this guy's next opus demopus.
 — joey

Overall pretty good, although i would change line 9 to she got off on his peeing on her.
 — MrTom

Loved this. Added to my favorites.
 — xixtas

gorgeous, sexy, delicious splicing of imagery and theme, the words dangle on the page and are a pleasure to watch moving under the gaze of the eye..

nice form, tight structure, wonderful internal rhythms - a good poem

:)
 — Mongrol

INSPIRED!
 — sophisticunt

oo oo
ah ah
each one of her ribs?
haha, good shit
 — chuckle_s

still gd
 — unknown

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