| a philosophy professor's closing arguments regarding mind body duality
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unknown
| he would | 1 |
howl obsessions as he | 2 |
lubricated the contours of each of her ribs | 3 |
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she would | 4 |
straddle his adolescence and | 5 |
cackle at the convolutions of her philosophy | 6 |
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her body owned him | 7 |
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and when she concluded that | 8 |
she got off on his getting off on her | 9 |
she knew her love | 10 |
for him would be fool proof | 11 |
against any erudite argument | 12 |
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http://wakeewookoo.blogspot.com/
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12 Mar 06 |
Rated 8.4 (8.4) by 13 users.
Active (13): 1, 2, 6, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (7): 3, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(13 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Add A Comment:
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Comments:
Too good.
— unknown
i'm surprised i like this
but i do
i love it
its really quite perfect
thanks
sadi
— unknown
nearly perfect. retouch when you can. I won't suggest more.
reid
— netskyIam
It was better before.
— unknown
I like this poem a lot, but the line breaks in the 1st & 2nd stanza jerks the rhythm of the piece, here's some suggestions you may want to consider:
he would howl
obessions as he lubricated
the contours of each of her ribs
she would straddle
his adolescence and cackle
at the convolutions of her philosophy
;-)
— redsky
adolescence? Isn't he a professor? Nope. No way. No matter how hot she makes him, he'll never have an adolescent boner again. Trust me on it.
— unknown
Sweet poem!!
— kimado
wow. ur simply the best. line 3 is gettin me hot!! anyone got some KY? lucky for u i like it.
— unknown
female prof male student.
mary k le tourneau
— unknown
smacks head! I'm getting old.
— unknown
the revenge of LOLITA
— unknown
anne bancroft and dustin hoffman?
— unknown
I like this a lot, I can't really think of anything constructive to say, but if I do I'll come back.
— fallinforyou
I really liked this, I have to say through the first stanza I was thinking this would be very predictible, but it so wasnt. I love this, its clean to the point and engaging at the same time. Nice work.
— madderhatter
is this a true story? can i attend your class?
old crow's daddy
— unknown
;
sharp.!
— unknown
hahahahahaha... bloody brilliant
— gingerdave
thanks GD.
GVD
— unknown
how is this remotely brilliant?
the metaphors are contrived and trite. the content less than that of postmodernism.
— username
i think it's shit.
authors grandmother
— unknown
In my humble opinion? Very good. I likey :)
— CervusWright
cute!
— unknown
i second mad hatters comments. Crisp and poignant. And unexpected.
— unknown
close your legs and mouth next time prof ho.
— unknown
reminds me of the graduate meets mary k le tourneau
— unknown
vraiment, tres bon.
— unknown
I don't know if I like 'her body owned him.'
Seems too tell in this piece of showing.
Anyway, otherwise it's pretty nice.
Thanks for the read.
-ramher
— ramenherpes
To me, lines 1-6 are platinum.
If line 7 is to be a turning point, wouldn't it add (at least aesthetic) interest if more balanced?
concluding that
she got off on (his)--him is not proper in this context and his works better.
getting off on her she knew
her (use) --to avoid the dreaded love--don't see love here anyway.
(of) him would be fool-
proof against any erudite argument
I really like this.
— housepoppy
Almost forgot: I don't think you need "any" in L12.
— housepoppy
changed him to his - thanks pops
— viscera
and yes there is no unconditional love here if that is one's definition.
— unknown
nice visc.!
— unknown
gay
— unknown
is it time to register yet?
— unknown
love it
— unknown
wicked
— lyom
heehaah
— unknown
whats the big deal?
— unknown
excellent, a doze of truth, a doze of mind games, a doze of sex (or is it just me), and a whole lot of good writing.
this makes me to think of so many things, having just come from a seminar in post-structural theatre ... someone ought to write a play about this (though I am sure it has been done).
the first stanza - what a slippery ride, must have been ...
howl - straddle
obsessions - adolescence
libricated - cackle/convulsions
Maybe it is just me, but I like the play of these words in the first two stanzas, parallel narratives done very well.
her body owned him - I am almost prone to suggest get the pronouns out, have verbs, nouns, but no ownership, does it make sense or am I in a minimalist mood today?
excellent argument, not that it is important for the purposes of the critique, but I can relate to that.
Thank you
Maria
— slancho
nothing like a good fuq to bring materiality to the vagabond medulla
— unknown
I like how real the hyperbole sounds.
— Meep
or do I mean simile?
— Meep
thankyou
— unknown
love that last line! captures it all
— unknown
thanks
— unknown
hahahah
— unknown
rockin
— unknown
lol
— unknown
woot!
— unknown
wootwoot
— unknown
awesome
— unknown
this is good. <3 i ten'd it.
— OKcomputer
found it on random.
— OKcomputer
this poem had detractors, which is a good thing. that means to some extent they with they wrote it first.
i knida hoped it could be more explicit, bu i'm glad it wasn't.
something is irkifying about line 11 though. i think it's "fool proof"
but line 12 is brilliant, and couldn't exist without 11.
i will implode
— onklcrispy
you Know why you shouldn't tie your dog next to the Coop door. be neat if this looked as a poem like a poem, especially since the title points at possibilities of imitation -- so many french lyrics and ditties about the subject. like, a cartoon, but maybe it could be a more sophisticated cartoon -- like, encore, encore, le fin du temps. or maybe, "there's a saying goes, says that love is blind. still, we're often told, "seek and ye shall find." which, if you think on it in multidimensional space, is the knitting of mind body as a cosmic pun. all linears are linear except when they're poetry.
— joey
Duality realized! Nice job.
— poetbill
not to mention those quads and abs. this is meat poetry for vegetarians, and that's like, strained soy or something -- you can see all the words trying to sprout into a real poem and not getting the chance cause they're going to be a fake hot dog in this guy's next opus demopus.
— joey
Overall pretty good, although i would change line 9 to she got off on his peeing on her.
— MrTom
Loved this. Added to my favorites.
— xixtas
gorgeous, sexy, delicious splicing of imagery and theme, the words dangle on the page and are a pleasure to watch moving under the gaze of the eye..
nice form, tight structure, wonderful internal rhythms - a good poem
:)
— Mongrol
INSPIRED!
— sophisticunt
oo oo
ah ah
each one of her ribs?
haha, good shit
— chuckle_s
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