poetry critical : poem

horizon looms in tommorrow

the sun rises in rome	1
casting it's peach	2
blood rays upon ruins	3
of the past	4
then sets forgetting	5
to turn off the sink	6

the sun rises is tokyo	7
shining naturally	8
for the first time in hours	9
then sets forgetting	10
to turn the lights out	11

the sun shines on sagwan alaska	12
for months at a time	13
breaking the monotony	14
of darkness	15
then sets forgetting	16
to return tommorrow	17

the sun rises on las vegas...	18
damn not another day	19

16 Mar 06

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Comments:

There are much better ways to explain how much t:me sucks...
— starwars

are there now
— turtlepoet

Tomorrow has one 'm' ...
— unknown

Line 7 - In Tokoyo

Poet, you need caps and punctuation in this, otherwise, it's running all together and detracts from the purity of the piece.

Punctuation is not a 4 letter word!
— Isabelle5

Turtlepoet! Help us out here, okay? Punctuate!
— Isabelle5

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