poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Parfum, the Poem
netskyIam

=Parfum, the Poem=         =Fixative for Perfumes=
 1
 
 
some poems are               indigestible squid beaks
 2
 
 
like perfumes                   sharp irritants
 3
 
 
may be kinks                   in the bowels of sperm whales
 4
 
 
few may like                    ambergris: the whale's natural
 5
 
 
aside from authors           lubricant laxative
 6
 
 
is your poem a parfum     of waxy crap to pass squid beaks
 7
 
 
is this poem a parfum      about ambergris
 8
 
 
this poem is so entitled    fixative for perfumes
 9
 
 
it is                                worth major money and is
 10
 
 
Parfum, the Poem           a key ingredient of Chanel N°5
 11
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
a lampoon of poets and poetry and perfumery in parallel counterpoint
 12

18 Mar 06

Rated 1 (7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (6): 1, 1, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

This is rather good.
 — unknown

sooop-urb!
soup!urp!
shoe firm!

superb.
 — onklcrispy

Simplified now
by making the void entirely
in one movement

thanks guys- you make me think even by "oks".
 — netskyIam

please take down your pictures. what the hell is your problem? freak.
 — unknown

thank you
 — netskyIam

bestiality is a crime.


PETA
 — unknown

-thank you-

*fuming*

This is all Colin Ward's fault:
this damnable, personal need to thank all critics

bleh!
 — netskyIam

revised, and perhaps now as good as bad can be.
 — netskyIam

"A brick like that can power Chanel's
ambergris needs for twenty years."
http://tinyurl.com/rbhq7


----

Jacques Polge
, "The Creator of Chanel Perfumes"

"...At CHANEL, perfume is an extension of the art of the couturier,
revealing the innermost dimension of femininity.
Perfume is the poetry of fashion, its silent and secret mirror."
http://uma.chanel.com/pol g.php
 — netskyIam

Ambergris is a fatty substance occasionally voided by sick sperm whales.
This occurrence is believed to be in connection with the diet of the sperm whale, which consisted of large squids.
Embedded in chunks of ambergris are often found the horny, indigestible beaks of these squids, and it is a possibility that the substance is produced as a means of imbedding and getting rid of the squid beaks, which otherwise might remain in the stomach and cause irritation. Fresh ambergris has a waxy texture and an earthy and somewhat disagreeable odor. Its unique ability to absorb and “set” certain odors makes it of particular value in the perfume industry.
http://www.rsmas.miami.edu/support/lib/seas /seasQA/QAs/a/ambergris.htmlhttp://www.rsmas.miami.edu/support/li b/seas/seasQA/QAs/a/ambergris.html
 — netskyIam

the quote above is from
http://www.rsmas.miami.edu/support/lib/seas/seasQ A/QAs/a/ambergris.html
 — netskyIam

The idea for this is not much short of brilliant. Perhaps have a look at the layout - instead of two columns, maybe one segment after the other? Anyway, the "Poem" part was okay, but the "perfume" part was great. Good work.
 — wendz

Thank you Wendz.  Say, I've tried so many formats.
I will, however show the idea you well-suggested: interlacing the lines, i think you mean?

I can do that in the upper form or right here.

Meanwhile, for fun, here are the three ways to read the poem
made EZ by -hypothetical punctuations- (punctuated as if I would do that)

-this is just for fun. not a revision and not an explanation of the poem-







Some poems are like perfumes: may be kinks few may like aside from authors.
Is your poem a parfum? Is this poem a parfum? This poem is so entitled.
It is "Parfum, the Poem".


Indigestible squid beaks:
sharp irritants in the bowels of sperm whales.
Ambergris, the whale's natural lubricant laxative of waxy crap to pass squid beaks.
About ambergris:
•fixative for perfumes
•worth major money
•a key ingredient of Chanel N°5



Some poems are indigestible squid beaks.
Like perfumes, sharp irritants may be kinks...
in the bowels of sperm whales.
Few may like ambergris, the whale's natural
(aside from authors') lubricant laxative.
Is your poem a parfum of waxy crap to pass squid beaks?
Is this poem a parfum about ambergris?
This poem is so-entitled: "fixative for perfumes".
It is worth major money.
"Parfum, the Poem", a key ingredient of Chanel N°5.


---again, thanks Wendz---
 — netskyIam

I want to comment on this poem, I will, but I need sleep. I will be back to give you a run for your money... and sperm. whale. ha. ....Whatever..... okay

Night,
Drew
 — Him

I see we both have Moby-mention pomes on
our records, Him.  That you mention sperm
causes me to ask you to please  review
http://poetry.tetto.o rg/read/26122/
when you can and if you can
heh heh heh!
 — netskyIam

I enjoy this unique read.  I do. This took good skill, i wish to use as well. I like this style.
Well.. I guess I cannot find anything I don't like about it, maybe because the read is too challenging .. I have to review it more before I can really give you a firm critique.

Nice,
Drew
 — Him

see the translations to punctuated prose half way up this commentary..  
that makes it all very easy.  thanks drew,
r.
 — netskyIam

$25,ooo per Kilo

i wish i lived in australia
 — unknown

It washes up on shores around the world.
Bone up on ambergris (google). You may get lucky
if you live by the sea by the sea by the $$$ful sea...
 — netskyIam

the structure of this, its layout and what it says is simply superb - one of the best visual poems I've seen.
 — clay

This stinks pretty good Nets

:)
 — unknown

bump! how rude! reid wants full attention and some sort of rating for his old and now un-retouchable poem.  It is more than three years old now. I inspect it regularly. this, I think, is perfect. It is, so far as I know the most complex, yet simple in its way, MOST PERFECT of all my poem efforts.  Does it rate even a one? Any comments before I destroy it?  

Thanks, Shermans,
 — Reid_Welch

I just gave my own poem (dead account) a ten.  Immoral and ego-fattening. I felt that I needed a cookie to-day.  I think this one will be laughed over one century from today.  Ambergris is never going to be duplicated by chemical science.  This poem is, I think *immodestly* totally unique and without peer.  Correct me and cite some peer-example if you can? See, I'm not being snide; I just don't read other poets.
I work in a vacuum: Hoover. And my dirt bag, style "C" is full and there ain't no more refill bags for this Hoover any more for sale!  Halp!  Love your senses,
 — Reid_Welch

0.361s