| Still all fucked up from St. Patty's
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bear
| Singing, laughing, dancing, | 1 |
that is what my life should be. | 2 |
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But my life is: | 3 |
work, talk, and responsiblity. | 4 |
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Alcohol should be a release | 5 |
but it brings out Mr. Hyde and | 6 |
scares the people I am with. | 7 |
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My violent rage. | 8 |
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The joke is on you. | 9 |
my life is singing | 10 |
dancing, and laughing. | 11 |
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I'm all play and no work. | 12 |
I am drunk from the drink | 13 |
called | 14 |
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Life. | 15 |
| 19 Mar 06 |
Rated 8.5 (8.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6, 8, 9 Inactive (2): 9 (define the words in this poem)
(157 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
i like this poem. I think it is one a great many people will identify with. I don't usually suggest anything but I think you could do more with this. Go for thwe bastards actually apart from in the title.. Otherwise excellent. — gingerdave
Dear Bear
This is a good advert for staying off the sauce .Yes,the stuff of life,I breath in a great gobful every morning but it is so foul i immediately have to tranquize myself with a huge swallow of neat vodka.
Larry wacky baccy chase that dragon hard drinking Lark
PS Squeak squeak — unknown
thanks gingerdave, what else do you think i can do with this?
haha larry, you always make me laugh. — bear
haha! i like this one! :D — ducktape
Like how this echo's things i've been struggling out of for years with just a glimpse of clear untrammeled boundless skies. — larrylark
thanks — bear
hmm i like this too .. u r not alone mate. — trochee
cheers — bear
I like this poem too. Anywhere you can insert the color "green" maybe? Otherwise I'd reconsider the profanity in the title and go for something more synonymous and less harsh. I say this only because "fucked up" is so cliched and can be taken in so many different ways that you want to be more precise with your reader(s) in describing the state you're in. L9 seems a little vengeful too. Can you make as powerful a statement without it? Just wondering. Good job! Drink the drink of Life! — starr
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