poetry critical

online poetry workshop

my thursday poem

high wood give
a lie half away
to hear mime
other’s tulips whisp
her aisle of hue

in loving remembrance

9 Apr 06

Rated 7 (7.1) by 3 users.
Active (3): 1, 10
Inactive (16): 1, 1, 1, 1, 3, 7, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

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happy birthday,


 — noodleman

This is such an original way of expressing sorrow - as if there are two voices - one painting a picture and the other telling the sentiment - feels like reaching to touch something you know is there yet alludes the grasp,
 — opal

are there 2 voices here? i do not see that although it is tempting to bend poet licence to fit that emotional expectation.
 — unknown

Great to see this re-posted, although the less than somber circumstance has my fullest and sincere wises and best ears,
ok so now a little more personal,

Sorry bud, it doesn’t get easier out we do learn to adapt, first is points, hen tolerance then anger then life..
 — unknown

 — dedication

i've attempted these kinds of things before, and it's never worked out... you did this very simply, but with obvious thought and sentiment. i usually get annoyed with reposts, but this is an interesting one and is enjoyable to read again. good job.
 — gears

i rarely repost anything but today is the anniversary of my mother's birth and death both. she died exactly 5 years ago today. so this is just my way of remembering her. if you like it, i am glad. if you don't like it, go read something else.
 — noodleman

simply exquisite. Isabelle5 has been wanting to see this again. She will be delighted.

 — borntodance

uh didnt i say i liked it? no need to tell me otherwise :P
 — gears

maybe i'm dense, but i don't get it.
 — unknown

i'm sorry gears: the first part was addressed to you, the second to the anonymous unashamedly mean people.
 — noodleman

i've read this a zillion times, and it's pretty and i like it, but i don't understand it.
 — unknown

you don't understand it? Seriously?

I would give
a life away
to hear my mother's
two lips whisper I love you.

Sorry, Noodleman, but he/she didn't get it. Now read my lips. my tulips. my two lips. I read praille. with a p. sheesh. test dummies need crash helmets.
 — unknown

It's not "a life away." Seems you didn't get it either, unknown.
 — claudia

It's not clear, never was. Out of respect for the departed I won't score.
 — unknown

im not interested in scores, so thanks. i just do this out of rememberance for my mom. nobodies scores mean anything. and yes, claudia is right. close, unknown, though. its all  i have.

 — noodleman

Must be why you had a pop at those mean people ;)
 — unknown

Still love this and still feel sad whenever I read it.
 — Isabelle5

" all I have,"   not " a life"

 — unknown

oh, sorry noodlemand, my mistake :P
 — gears

thank you so much for reposting this.  it means A LOT.  <3  i love you.

my favorite poem in the world.

 — ducktape

lovely.- k
 — pghpoet

Yes, I was sad to find it disappeared from my favourites list some time ago. Glad you reposted it.

Need more poets like you now...
 — DeathShards

thats a very kind thing to say.
 — noodleman

It use to be on my kitchen wall at home ( ask B ) . Most of my friends do not read/have never read any poetry , It was time well spent watching them try and work it out .
Thank you .
 — sir_I_clan

thankyo utoo.
 — noodleman

i love you, noodles!
 — ducktape

Wasn't the first one "I would give up all I have.."?
 — unknown

still beautiful
 — unknown

just never looked at the other
that way, is all...
u eyes better than mine!
 — unknown

well said
said well
said well
well said
 — chuckles

imus ewe
 — unknown

why me? why do i subject myself to this crap? don't answer that I'm not interested.
 — unknown

Exquisite. Always brings a lump to my throat. Thanks noodles.
 — smugzy

other's tulips whips
her aisle of hue

the poet betrays
their beauty
in words

wonderful poem
 — Mongrol

whips = whisp

oops :)
 — Mongrol

very nice, nice indeed
 — Redlander


elephant shoes
 — unknown

Since you were truthful enough about my poem now I can say I didn't think it was at all good, I was just being polite.
 — Redlander

hey noodleman I was taking about your poem
 — Redlander