poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Activities Of Exiled Andean Ladies
larrylark

Its ever so chilly on warm summer evenings,
 1
small weaving classes numb fingers and minds.
 2
Its time for a start said the boy from the priesthood,
 3
yet critiques on being take up most of his time.
 4
 
 
The old ladies come not for idle sensation,
 5
but from the imperious boredom of age.
 6
With herring bone fingers they stitch vivid pictures,
 7
of steel eyed invaders and jettisoned slaves.
 8
 
 
Intentions however lie wrecked on the shoreline,
 9
while bold Spanish soldiers put mountains to flame.
 10
Like so many hot heads with week-end derangements,
 11
they left their enticements to spread like a stain.
 12
 
 
Deep shadows creep over engulfing the temple,
 13
the glow of each star shines down like a curse.
 14
They sing of Jerusalem yet no one can find it,
 15
on the old parchment map in the cracked leather purse.
 16
 
 
Its ever so chilly on late summer evenings,
 17
paste jewellry classes are cut to the bone.
 18
Exchanges through barter are all thay they need,
 19
and economy's running on bright coloured beads.
 20

16 Apr 06

Rated 8 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 8
Inactive (2): 9, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(664 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

brilliant imagery
 — unknown

Dear unknown

Glad someone likes it. Thanks for taking the time and trouble to read.

Larry lark
 — larrylark

Your poetic verse has intense energy, pace, movement, rhythm, and rhyme, which coalesce with deeply powerful images, rich in history and fraught with the indignation of social-political injustice. I have much to learn  from your writing style.
 — Bethl

I am liking the flow and the beat of this throughout.  Good imagery without dragginess and the way the first and last verses are tied is nice.
 — Isabelle5

nice poem.
only one spot-
in 5/6
the 'for' and 'but from' connection is a bit off.
considering the 'not for', i expected 'but from'.

i'm guessing that mix-up is not the style you're going for since the rest is formatted, as always, wonderfully.

thanks.
 — varun

no wait, i expected
'but for'.
 — varun

Hi Bethl

I am so KO'd by your wonderful comments that i am for once left speechless I love speculating on the historical past. Once more Many thanks

Larry Longing for Peruvian Mountains Lark
 — larrylark

Thanks Isabelle

are you the twinkling star i see far away out my window each night?

Larry sky gazer Lark
 — larrylark

Thanks Varun

I will consider carefully your suggestion.

Larry improver Lark
 — larrylark

nice.
 — listen

0.31s