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Polarised Love
larrylark

Each wove a finely textured web of silence,
 1
he always walked a measured stride ahead,
 2
yet slightly stooped,while courteous, leaning over,
 3
to catch the sense of whispered things she said.
 4
 
 
Immensely vacuumed rooms saw many journeys,
 5
tea grew cold beside a burning hearth.
 6
The rain of English weather fell between them,
 7
summer of their youth etched on each heart.
 8
 
 
Autumn leaves were burnished red and golden,
 9
a cold key turned to lock  his study room.
 10
No one dusted deep in the interior,
 11
across the floor a library was strewn.
 12
 
 
Sad to say it seems now they have parted,
 13
her to a lover further down the mews.
 14
Obituaries will have to be re-written,
 15
and placed between theatrical reviews.
 16

19 Apr 06

Rated 9.5 (8.8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 9
Inactive (5): 8, 9, 9, 9, 10

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Comments:

is Opal your wife?
 — unknown

No! I'm just married to her

Larry otherwise engaged Lark
 — unknown

um..... so,you  're not her husband,

¿
 — unknown

Quite a nice poem. It's very evocative without being really narrative, which I like very much, and leaves me with a slightly lonely, quiet feeling, which is appropriate.

My only critical comments would be a couple spelling errors:

L3: curteous = courteous

L5: vaccumed = vacuumed

and I'm not sure about the rhyme between "hearth" and "heart". Possibly it's a clean rhyme in your pronunciation, but it makes me stumble a bit in the otherwise clean rhyme scheme. Perhaps you could think about that a bit. Thanks for sharing.
 — dandy

We drink cold tea together.

Larry
 — larrylark

Thanks Dandy

I will act on your excellent spots. Sorry about the spelling,its one of my many weak points
 — larrylark

We've all got something like that. Well done again, Larry.
 — dandy

Ooh.. very good and clever stuff.
 — gingerdave

i smell pussywillow
 — unknown

Dera Dandy

You are too kind.I should use a spell check but i'm so bone idle.
 — larrylark

Dear GingerDave

Glad you liked it thanks for the positive comment.
 — larrylark

The rhythm is excellent - and I think the rhyme is used well enough to be a plus - the last stanza I love.

(Dear reader, I didn't marry him)
 — opal

Dear All

It was super glue kept us together

Larry sticky fingers lark
 — opal

this is what happens when a fool can't tell that someone else is logged in      :)
 — opal

This is what happens when in the words of the immortal Elvis "A fool such as i" is allowed access to anything more complex than a light bulb switch.

Larry fizz band total darkness Kark
 — larrylark

How did I miss this?  Oh, wait, I remember what was going on in my life last April...

This is just so perfect, Larry.  (Did you mean to have an extra space in line 10?)
 — Isabelle5

Ohh, this is... really poignant, if I can use that word without sounding like an idiot.

I love L15 and 16. It reminds me of a Carol Ann Duffy piece- War Photographer, with the lines

A hundred agonies in black-and-white
from which his editor will pick out five or six
for Sunday's supplement. The reader's eyeballs prick
with tears between bath and pre-lunch beers.
From aeroplane he stares impassively at where
he earns a living and they do not care.
 — naomih

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