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Coded 19th Cent. Tableau Vivant
netskyIam

Would April, May and June much mind
 1
If The Day loved brother August?
 2
 
 
A suitor, posed, not punctuating
 3
Measured starts toward ends
 4
 
 
Each sister would propose, although
 5
He was not what they would see in him.
 6

26 Apr 06

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August, a hot month, red and brilliant: would the cycle only once a year.
 — alicedark

you copied it from the forum... but never mind its good
 — linush

its just me without my name on, linush.  thanks.  you're a love. thank you, alicelight, you too. I love the ladies more, and better than I really could love auggie.  it is the ladies who can feel and understand, forgive, the best, when men make intent, shaded lies.
 — unknown

Reid hi, line 4 seems so awkward, condescending almost, how important is it to the poem?

A question not to ask of they  
who suffered much to love
or
A question not to ask of they  
who suffered much to hope

just some thoughts
 — wantsaname

you have a good point to make, Ken.  The wonder is if I do that, (rid the line of "periods"= dashed hopes, menstrual cyclics too, then the turning "unpunctuated"= his intent not to reveal of himself, or to harm the sisters;
that "unpunctuated" may no longer fit with the layered metaphor (maybe!).
Not sure yet.  We know altering one card can make a house (of cards) collapse.  So, for now I will let it ride.  Time and you helps will show the best way. Thank you.
 — unknown

revised
 — netskyIam

Emily Dickenson-flavored piece, revised by adding commas and a period and an underscore on 31 08 08
 — netskyIam

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