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fresh female
netskyIam

flowers spring from olden earth;          
 1
expend their youth while fanning                
 2
breezes that near always blow
 3
 
 
although they cannot know this
 4

18 May 06

Rated 8 (8.7) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 8, 9, 9

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Comments:

yummy!
 — Maela

thanky, but you know what? I'm gonna change it.
Here is the version Maela saw:

new flowers spring from olden earth;
expend their youth while fanning
breezes that near always blow

although they cannot know this

---now  I propose to turn the thing into even more of a didactic.
The reason why? To perhap increase its clarity.  It has a humble purpose,
and does not purport to be any great new "truth" (girls, you already know!)  but let's say: the metaphor may be fresh as a new woman.
-That- is my humble want.

thanks,
Reid
 — netskyIam

hmmm. Interesting. I like.
 — Maela

A nine for the original version, leave you (and me) out of it.
 — unknown

OK, I agree.  Back to the original version.
The title is now keyed into the verse, and L 1 begins with "flowers" instead of the former "new"

fresh female
flowers.. and so on

===done!
 — netskyIam

very philisophical. nice. Short, sweet and to the point.  Love it.
 — Unbelievable

An old favourite of mine, it's good to read it again.
 — unknown

Netsky is a dick.
 — unknown

Wondeful poem.
emdash before expend?
 — unknown

lovely sapphic verse - though suggestion - change olden to old - it doesnt need the affectation of being olden - the directive of the earths ancientness is enough

otherwise a lovely little piece
 — Mongrol

pure.
you're next , i think...
why the ; L1?
is it really necessary
 — chuckles

simply awesome piece. short, sweet, beautifully written and great meaning. rock on.
 — lanezfairy

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