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goat
hank

when my dad was young he
 1
had a goat to eat burdocks
 2
the only thing that could
 3
but it was his pet
 4
not his lawn mower but even still
 5
you use things
 6
that goat of his only liked him i
 7
have been told
 8
he would butt anybody else
 9
i have my own goats now
 10
love them
 11
tobago goats tethered
 12
antigua goats feral
 13
mine staring horizontal pupils pegged
 14

31 May 06

Rated 8 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (2): 8, 9, 10

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Comments:

leave out the BUT in line5
its got potential but
you haven't connected yourself to your father through the gosts just yet.
keep going
 — unknown

thanks but no thanks.
 — hank

and on rereading again (and again), i like the 'but'.
 — hank

but is superfluous - it islike saying more better or something BUT to each his own
I liked it anyway
 — unknown

let me spell it out- but, butt.
 — hank

I like "but" in l4 and in l5, but not necessarily both. It seems a little repetitious. Would you consider "and" in l5? Or maybe breaking the line after "mower"?

I like it, regardless. My family used to raise goats. Strange animals.
 — dandy

how can two words that mean completely different things be 'repetitious'? how can two words that are spelled similarly, sound similarly, used cleverly, be- 'repetitious'?

very strange animal.
 — hank

It was just an opinion and a well intentioned suggestion, Hank.

I was referring to the but in l4 and in l5, not the butt in l9. That one is indeed entirely appropriate.
 — dandy

you didn't even mention l6. this has been very carefully constructed.
 — hank

thank you so much for the reading. really, thank you. what about donkey?
 — hank

I don't see a but in l6. That particular word was the subject of my comment.

It's very clear that this is carefully constructed. That doesn't necessarily mean that it can't be changed. If you don't wish to, that's certainly your prerogative.

And... done.
 — dandy

I'll take a look at it, if you like.
 — dandy

actually dandy, i wrote this as it came to my fingertips after it came to my head. don't know if that is carefully constructed or not. but did reread maybe, say, 40-50 times before posting. thats why i say carefully constructed, etc. cheers. ty.
 — hank

I'd comment about the repetition of the "but's" in L's 4&5, but I'm not in the mood for an attack, so I'll pass.  The poem, itself, is potentially good and could benefit from some line breaks so as not to totally confuse the reader.  I like it.  I like goats too.  They're really cute (and smart).
 — starr

but even still is not well english
 — unknown

good english.
 — hank

ahhh, where's kal when you need her?
 — hank

Duh!
 — unknown

You have used the word but in two consecutive lines and the second use is superfluous however, this is a very cute poem.
I think line 9 is just right. I have a goat ( it was given to me I don't know what kind it is) and angora rabbits.
 — unknown

butt heads.  double entendre-duh
 — unknown

this is certainly underrated.
 — hank

Everyone should own a goat, or at least use goat soap and drink goat milk.

Heidi
 — unknown

ok. a bit forced.not bad.
 — hank

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