Wish Fulfilled
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netskyIam
| Honey, even then, his voice, | 1 |
ringleting brown hair above | 2 |
his Quebec-accented appeal of | 3 |
nothing more to wish | 4 |
for one another | 5 |
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Reid | 6 |
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don't | 7 |
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get | 8 |
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sick | 9 |
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like | 10 |
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this | 11 |
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—last words before the ventilator | 12 |
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Jean Pierre squeezed answers | 13 |
to my hand from his | 14 |
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Then curare, muscle-paralyzing, | 15 |
to conserve blood oxygen | 16 |
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Then nothing | 17 |
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______________________________ | 18 |
pneumocystis carinii pneumonia | 19 |
AIDS March 1985 | 20 |
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. | 21 |
| 3 Jun 06 |
Rated 10 (9.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): Inactive (1): 9, 10 (define the words in this poem)
(181 more poems by this author)
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Comments:
the geniune last words... so hard for him to speak
to save me... our presumption then: I'd have it too,
twenty one years ago--his words:
talismanic? — netskyIam
Honey even then his voice
ringleting brown hair above
his French-accented appeal
of nothing left
to save one another
Reid
don't
get
sick
like
this
The ventilator—and
JP squeezed my hand
to answer questions
Curare
paralyzing
to conserve blood oxygen
Then nothng
I don't think you need so many 'thens', and in my view the last two words need to be on the same line. I love this Reid.
— wantsaname
so good before it gets chatty at the end --- at "jean pierre"... i mean, we already know he's there and french or something, and we don't need to know his measurments or his feelings about dying. you've made him a toy from the very beginning, and this is a play poem for a fete morte, ensemble et leger. it wasn't he who died, it was you dying for him. he's just gone.
reid
don't
get
chatty
like
this — joey
revised, June 2008 — netskyIam
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