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Wish Fulfilled
netskyIam

Honey, even then, his voice,
 1
ringleting brown hair above
 2
his Quebec-accented appeal of
 3
nothing more to wish
 4
for one another
 5
 
 
 
 
Reid
 6
 
 
don't
 7
 
 
get
 8
 
 
sick
 9
 
 
like
 10
 
 
this
 11
 
 
 
 
—last words before the ventilator
 12
 
 
 
 
Jean Pierre squeezed answers
 13
to my hand from his
 14
 
 
Then curare, muscle-paralyzing,
 15
to conserve blood oxygen
 16
 
 
 
 
Then nothing
 17
 
 
 
 
 
 
______________________________
 18
pneumocystis carinii pneumonia
 19
AIDS  March  1985
 20
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
.
 21

3 Jun 06

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Comments:

the geniune last words...  so hard for him to speak
to save me...  our presumption then: I'd have it too,
twenty one years ago--his words:
talismanic?
 — netskyIam

Honey even then his voice  
ringleting brown hair above  
his French-accented appeal  
    
of nothing left  
    
to save one another  
    
    
    
Reid  
    
    
don't  
    
    
get  
    
    
sick  
    
    
like  
    
    
this  
    
    
    
    
The ventilator—and  
    
JP squeezed my hand  
    
to answer questions  
    
    
Curare  
paralyzing  
    
to conserve blood oxygen  
    
    
    
Then nothng

I don't think you need so many 'thens', and in my view the last two words need to be on the same line. I love this Reid.


    

    
    
    
    
    
  
 — wantsaname

so good before it gets chatty at the end --- at "jean pierre"... i mean, we already know he's there and french or something, and we don't need to know his measurments or his feelings about dying. you've made him a toy from the very beginning, and this is a play poem for a fete morte, ensemble et leger. it wasn't he who died, it was you dying for him. he's just gone.

reid
don't
get
chatty
like
this
 — joey

revised, June 2008
 — netskyIam

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